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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22435702">The One With The Other Side Of The Story</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/FictionWriter91'>FictionWriter91 (orphan_account)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Friends (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Gen, Multi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2018-07-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2018-07-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 10:06:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,232</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22435702</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/FictionWriter91</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever wonder what happens after being dumped by a Friend? Or being the person who dumped a Friend? This is a story about just that. It explores the thoughts, actions, and feelings in the immediate aftermath of most of the people the Friends interacted with (with the exception of some).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The One With The Other Side Of The Story</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Original story at https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13015670/1/The-One-With-the-Other-Side-of-the-Story</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Barry</strong>
</p><p>He was devastatingly crushed. There was nothing worse than standing at the end of an aisle waiting, and waiting, and...waiting. And waiting some more...only to learn that your bride to be was not coming.</p><p>"Um, did you want to check on her?" the minister asked the maid of honor, Mindy.</p><p>"Yea, I'll do that," she said, hurrying back down the aisle and disappearing around the corner. Barry felt everyone staring at him. He started to sweat. He could see the bride's parents bickering with each other and waving their arms. Didn't they know where their daughter, Rachel, was? How could they not? Rachel's sisters were sitting in front of him, one of them snapping her gum and giving him a seductive look. Barry shivered. Maybe he was dodging a bullet here by not marrying into this family. He looked up when Mindy reappeared. The look on her face said it all before she even spoke.</p><p>"She's gone."</p><p>The crowd gasped. The minister slammed his Bible shut, making Barry jump, and tutted before walking away. Barry's best man sniggered. Mindy made her way towards Barry.</p><p>"I...I'm so sorry," she said, reaching out to touch his arm to comfort him.</p><p>"It's fine," Barry replied. It wasn't fine. Nothing was fine. He had just been stood up at the damn altar! Who does that?! He had never ever dreamed that Rachel Green would bail on this marriage. She loved him, well, his money and his job status, that much he knew, but she did love him too. He knew she did. So why had she bolted? He went into the men's room, dodging all the sympathetic guests who were trying to convey their sorrow for him. He didn't want to hear it. He stood before the mirror, leaning on the counter with his hands. Was there something wrong with him? Sure, his hair was thinning. He was getting older. Was he ugly? He turned his head from side to side. No. He was relatively okay looking. He wouldn't say ugly. He just wasn't drop dead gorgeous either. He sighed. Whatever Rachel had going on in her mind before she bolted, he guessed he would never know.</p><p>...</p><p>"Hey," Mindy said, knocking. Barry was changed back into his regular clothes and getting ready to go home.</p><p>"Hey," he replied. He spied the plane tickets for the honeymoon he was supposed to be going on in Aruba.</p><p>"How are you holding up?"</p><p>"I'm surviving," he smiled weakly. Mindy saw the tickets too. She suddenly had a great idea. Maybe it was wrong, but it would certainly help to cheer him up.</p><p>"Wanna go on a trip?" she asked, gesturing. Barry laughed.</p><p>"How weird would that be?" he countered. "I don't think so."</p><p>"Oh, come on. It'll be fun! It'll take your mind off things," she urged.</p><p>"I doubt it," he snorted. "It's our honeymoon trip. It's got Rachel written all over it."</p><p>"Well, maybe I could help get her out of your head," Mindy suggested. Barry looked at her. Was she alluding to something? She blushed.</p><p>"You really think that would help?" he asked. A part of him was very curious to see where this would go. She brightened, seeing that he was caving.</p><p>"Of course! It's worth a try anyway," she smiled. Barry fingered the tickets. Well, Rachel had dumped him at the altar. Why not have some fun?</p><p>"What the hell," he said. "Let's go on a trip!"</p><p>
  <strong>Carol </strong>
</p><p>She felt Ross's absence like a hole in her heart. She sat down on the sofa, feeling the words echoing off the walls from their last conversation. She had hurt him deeply. That she knew. A part of her felt really bad, but the other part felt so relieved that it was finally out there. She was finally being true to herself. She was in love with a woman. Susan. She smiled, thinking about Susan. They had so much fun together. Then her mind traveled over to think about Ross, and her good feeling went away and was immediately replaced with guilt. If only she had been able to find this out about herself before marrying him and hurting him. She bit her nails. Would he ever forgive her? Would he ever be okay again? Would he find someone else to love and who would love him back just as fiercely? That was the thing about Ross. He loved so fiercely and passionately. Yes, he would get jealous here and there, and Carol hoped to God that Ross would work on that before dating someone else, but otherwise, Ross was a helluva guy. Carol felt nauseous suddenly. She guessed it was her nerves. However, she got to thinking, and she realized that she had been feeling unwell for a few days now, not just today. She tapped her fingers on the arm of the sofa. When had her last period been? She thought hard. She gulped. She couldn't remember. Quivering, she stood and grabbed her purse. She needed to know right now.</p><p>...</p><p>After purchasing the pregnancy test and staring at it for an hour, Carol finally parked her keister on the toilet and awkwardly urinated on the stick. She set it on the counter and waited. Her mind wandered as she waited. How would she tell Ross that she was having their baby? He was going to be freaked right out she just knew it. What bad timing this was. Then again, if they had already had a baby together, would she have been brave enough to pursue what she knew was meant for her? Would she have been honest with herself and given herself what she wanted and needed? Maybe, maybe not. She'd never know. The timer went off, indicating it was showtime. With trembling hands, she picked up the pregnancy test and looked at it.</p><p>Positive.</p><p>"Oh boy," she whispered.</p><p>
  <strong>Paul the Wine Guy</strong>
</p><p>He was humming to himself as he prepared dinner, smiling over at the woman who was lying on his couch. He felt smug. Two women in two nights. That was the best feeling ever. Something niggled at his brain, though. He couldn't help but think about Monica and how fun she had been. And smart. And cute. Had he made a mistake? He paused, knife and celery hanging midair.</p><p>"Everything all right?" Jess asked. Or was it Jackie? Jeanine?</p><p>"Um, yea. All good," he answered, getting back to chopping. His thoughts wandered over to Monica again. Damn. Why was she stuck in there? Was it guilt? Or was it just that he really had enjoyed her company and was now with someone less intelligent and bit silly? Her friends were an odd bunch, he had to admit. The way they were all right there when he went into her apartment. At least she had friends. What did he have? He shook his head hard. He felt a little bad, using the line of "I couldn't have sex until I met you," but she had bought it. Hook, line, and sinker. This girl was going to too. Just like all the other women before had. Paul wasn't sure how to feel about this.</p><p>"I would love to help," the girl whose name started with the letter J said. She came up behind him and pressed against him. Well, who could argue with that? All thoughts of Monica were gone. Just like that. It was time for the line.</p><p>...</p><p>He saw her walking the next day. Monica. She looked a little sad. He had heard through the grape vine that Frannie had told her about his line. He wished he could feel a little guiltier, but he couldn't. Monica's eyes suddenly met his, and he froze, but she kept on walking, not even acting as though she saw him. Perhaps she didn't even see him. Maybe it was all in his head. He knew the damage was done, that he could never try again. She would never trust him. He deserved to not have her. She deserved better. He was a lonely, bitter soul who couldn't afford to give real love a chance. He hoped she would find someone to love her the way she deserved. As he watched her go, he knew that guy would be a lucky son of a bitch. He went to look at the time and realized that his watch was gone. He thought for a moment, trying to track where it would be. Then it hit him. He had left it at Monica's. He looked up to see her disappear around the corner. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that she had smashed his watch.</p><p>
  <strong>Alan </strong>
</p><p>"I had a great time with you. It was your friends I couldn't stand," Alan finished. Monica stared at him.</p><p>"Well, you turned out to be a jerk. My friends deserve so much better than you. To think they put you on a pedestal," Monica huffed, grabbing her purse.</p><p>He felt a little sorry as he watched Monica get up and leave. A little, not too much. She had been amazing, but her friends...wow, he didn't even know where to start. They all treated him like he was some kind of god, which was so amusing. Alan figured he could do anything and they'd think it was incredible. Individually they were a bit kooky, and as a group they were too needy. Chandler made too many jokes that sometimes weren't that funny. Alan figured that was to cover up for whatever went wrong in his childhood. Ross was trying to act like the tough brother in law even though he wasn't. Phoebe was...spacey, and Alan couldn't understand what she was saying half the time. Rachel was too flirty, which Alan didn't mind, but there was a rule where you don't date your girlfriend's friend until at least a month later, and Joey...well, Joey was...Joey. You had to watch your food if you were eating around him. Alan chuckled. Monica was the first girl he'd gone out with whose friends he didn't really care for. He leaned on the palm of his hand and sighed loudly. Now he was a jerk because he didn't like them. Well, tough beans. Monica was going to have a very hard time finding someone to be with who would tolerate all of them. He'd almost love to watch.</p><p>
  <strong>Tony </strong>
</p><p>He walked out of Central Perk feeling completely gutted, but he understood. He had caught sight of a man who looked like he was trying to break up with his girlfriend, and Tony got the feeling that this café was a break up joint. He didn't want to come back here. He was doing a hunger strike after all, and gosh, the smell of food wasn't helping. He thought about Phoebe as he walked. She was so quirky and unbelievable in bed, but she did have a point. If she had a terminal illness, there was no point in staying together. Tony was thoughtful as he made his way back to the tree he was chained to for his hunger strike. He hoped she would die peacefully or maybe she'd even have a miracle happen. Those were her words. Tony would miss her he knew. She was the only girl he knew that enjoyed being handcuffed for no reason or cause. He grinned. Oh Phoebe. He hoped she would be all right.</p><p>
  <strong>Janice </strong>
</p><p>She hurried out of Central Perk. Chandler had done a terrible job at ending their relationship; he even hit her in the eye! After the day she had, all she wanted was some empathy and a hug. Instead, she got dumped. Phoebe's words were a comfort at least. Chandler needed some more time before he could be with her fully. He wasn't mature enough for her. Well duh. Janice knew that. He was just so funny, though. She held her eye as she walked home. Chandler Bing had fallen into her lap practically at the movie theatre a few weeks before, and they had made a joke out of it but then one thing led to another and they started dating. It was all an accidental thing really. Perhaps Phoebe was right. Chandler wasn't ready for a girl like her. She should try again in a year or two. Maybe he'd be ready then. Janice lamented over the fact that she could have had three other girlfriends to talk to, but it wasn't meant to be. When she got home, she tapped the glass of her goldfish bowl in a greeting and went to get a drink. She saw the photo of her and Chandler on the counter that she was going to frame for him. Well, forget that now. She went over and shoved it into a drawer. She'd deal with it another time. She wandered over to her couch and put her feet up, looking out at the city skyline. She wondered if she would ever meet Mr. Right.</p><p>
  <strong>Angela </strong>
</p><p>Not even three days after she left Bob for Joey did she get dumped. She stormed out of Joey's apartment. What an asshole! She couldn't believe he changed his mind...again. Angela sobbed as she got into the taxi cab. The cabbie shot her a sympathetic look but didn't ask questions. Angela was fine with that. She looked out the window as the scenery flew by. Joey had no idea how to love a woman let alone care for one. All he was in it for was the sex. She crossed her arms. She lost Bob for nothing. Then she perked up. Perhaps Bob had finished with that horrible Monica person. Maybe they could give it another shot! She gave directions to the cabbie for Bob's favorite coffee shop. Perhaps he was already there, and she could approach him and ask to give it one more go. What would the harm be in that?</p><p>
  <strong>Bob </strong>
</p><p>"This was really fun, but, I don't think we're a good fit," Bob said to Monica as he stood in her doorway.</p><p>"Excuse me?" Monica asked, taken aback.</p><p>"I just...we didn't click," Bob said.</p><p>"I certainly thought we clicked," Monica said suggestively.</p><p>"It's everything else that isn't clicking," Bob told her. "Look, this was really fun, but it's not going to work."</p><p>"Oh," Monica said, disappointed. "All right then. I'm sorry."</p><p>"Me too," Bob lied. He hurried out of there before she could start crying. He started walking to his favorite coffee shop, thinking about how wild Monica had been in the bedroom. Then he thought about Angela. He wondered if she was still with Joey. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that Joey had intentionally broken them up. What a jerk. Bob ordered his coffee and sat down, his mind going a hundred miles an hour. That meant Monica had been in on it too. How selfish of a person could you be? Oh well. At least he had a good time with her before ending it. He looked at his watch. He wondered what Angela was doing right now.</p><p>"Bob?" a voice said timidly. He looked up. It was as though she had been summoned.</p><p>"Angela," he said, incredulous.</p><p>"Oh, Bob! I'm so sorry!" Angela wailed. "I miss you!"</p><p>"I miss you too," he said, getting up to hug her tightly.</p><p>"Joey dumped me," she sniffled.</p><p>"Well, I dumped Monica," he told her. She perked up.</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>"Yea."</p><p>"Do you think...could we maybe...?" she started but couldn't finish. He beamed at her.</p><p>"I'd like that," he said. She smiled. Things were all right in the world again. Monica and Joey could disappear into the past and never be brought up again.</p><p>
  <strong>Aurora </strong>
</p><p>She just couldn't understand it. Chandler had been very willing to be her sexual partner despite Rick and Ethan. Perhaps bringing up Andrew was too soon. She was really going to miss Chandler. He was so funny and charming. Aurora thought about the three other men she was with as she rode the bus over to where Andrew was waiting for her. Maybe Chandler was right. Maybe she should break up with at least one of them. She thought hard. Andrew. It was going to be Andrew who got the cut. She had been married to Rick for too long, and Ethan was very special. No, Andrew was going to have to go. She smiled. If only Chandler knew that she was doing this. He'd be so proud of her. At least, she hoped he would be. She closed her eyes and thought about their time together. She hadn't met any of his friends, but he had spoken a lot about one named Monica and how she was riding him about some cooking pot she'd lent him. Something about scratching it. Aurora had a feeling that Chandler might like this woman. She hoped he would at least figure it out before he lost his chance to be with her. She felt sad again suddenly. She wished she hadn't lost Chandler, but she knew she couldn't be in a monogamous relationship. He needed that, not her. She sighed. Onward and upward. She got off the bus and saw Andrew standing there with flowers. Her heart fluttered. Maybe she could just keep going with Andrew after all.</p><p>
  <strong>Jill </strong>
</p><p>She couldn't help but giggle to herself as she left the ATM vestibule. Chandler turned out to be a really cute, funny guy despite the awkwardness and the choking. The way he whipped that pen and got hit in the face...she giggled harder. She looked back, wondering if she should go and offer him her number. She hesitated. He was probably gone, and maybe that was for the best. She hurried forward. Maybe in a different life she could have had something more with him.</p><p>
  <strong>Janice </strong>
</p><p>"One of these times it's gonna be your last chance to be with me!" Janice shouted before she stormed out of Monica's apartment. She couldn't believe it! Chandler had only wanted her to come for the New Year's Eve party as a friend. What the heck was that?! She was so distraught. And she took more pictures. What was she, nuts? She started to cry louder as she hailed a cab. She could barely see. She was never going to let that Bing boy hurt her again. Nope no way. She stopped off at the convenience store and bought some ice cream. it was going to be another long night of crying and binge eating. She might even get hacky with the scissors again. Her pile of Chandler heads was growing, and she was running out of ideas of who to paste in his place beside her. She sighed. She was never going to understand Chandler. Why did he loathe her so? What had she done wrong? She turned on the television to find a romantic comedy on one of her channels, so she watched it. It took her mind off of Chandler for a while. Eventually, she fell asleep, spoon in hand with the tub of ice cream slowly melting.</p><p>
  <strong>Sandy </strong>
</p><p>She felt mildly bad for cheating on Joey, but they hadn't really been dating after all. This was their first time together outside of work, and she didn't find him all that interesting after the first hour. Max on the other hand was interesting. He was going to Minsk. That was exciting. She wished she could go with him, but she had her children to think about. She and Max crept out of Monica's apartment right after the ball dropped. She didn't want to see Joey. She didn't want that embarrassment. She gathered her kids up and they split. Max came home with her, and the rest was history. Sandy hoped Joey wasn't too upset by it, but she figured he would move on to someone else. He seemed like that type of guy.</p><p>
  <strong>David </strong>
</p><p>It had hurt so, so much to say goodbye to Phoebe. Why had she insisted that he go? He didn't want to go. He stared at his luggage that he was supposed to be finishing packing. All he could think about was her. Max was off having a one night stand with some woman from the party while he was wondering why he was putting himself through heartache. He picked up the phone to call Phoebe and tell her he wasn't going to go, but he hesitated. She had been adamant that he go, to not stay behind just for her. Maybe she had a point. He set the phone down. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her. No, he would go to Minsk. He would come back in three years, and they would get back together. If she was single, that is. David sighed loudly as he started packing again. The future just seemed so uncertain.</p><p>
  <strong>Fun Bobby </strong>
</p><p>He left Monica's place bawling his eyes out. He was mildly irritated that she wasn't sympathetic to him losing his grandfather. She said he was bringing her party down. Well. How was he supposed to be happy and fun when he lost someone he really loved? He cried all the way back to his place and the whole time he packed. He cried until his eyes burned and he felt like he was going to throw up. Alcohol was not helping either. He tried not to think about Monica and her coldness. He hoped he wouldn't see her again. He deserved someone who at least tried to comfort him in his time of need. He wondered if she'd ever be that way for someone or if she even could be.</p><p>
  <strong>Coma Guy</strong>
</p><p>He was so confused. These two women came in and basically had a peeing contest about who did what for him while he was unconscious, and he had no idea who either of them was. He vaguely recalled seeing them on the street. Did one of them woowoo at him? He thought hard. Was that how he had gotten hit? She had distracted him? Then she looked after him and wanted him to call her and date her? Who the hell did that?! He shook his head. This whole thing was so weird. He was glad to be finally going home. He felt a little creeped out that these women were doing things to him like shaving him and changing his pajamas. He shuddered. How come no nurse or doctor kicked them out? He'd have to make a complaint on his way out. He hoped he never saw those girls again.</p><p>
  <strong>Nora Bing</strong>
</p><p>She knew kissing Ross had been a big mistake, but it had felt quite nice. Chandler had been very upset with her. He had even yelled at her! To see her son so upset about something made her realize how wrong she had been. You don't kiss your son's friends. Everyone knew that. What was wrong with her? She and Chandler got into it pretty bad, but in the end, he had said what he needed to say, and it made her realize that she hadn't really been a mom for him when he needed her. That was going to change. She was going to make more of an effort. After passing Ross in the hallway, she thought back to their kiss. She really hoped he would get with Rachel because Rachel was missing out on something quite hot. She smirked to herself. Maybe she could write a book about this...</p><p>
  <strong>Paolo </strong>
</p><p>He couldn't understand why Racquel was so upset with him. Her friend was cute and pretty. They could have all had a good time together, no? She had gone nuts. She found him waiting for her in her bedroom and ripped a strip off of him. Then she proceeded to throw his belongings down onto the street while he watched and begged. Then she sent him away, and he had to pass her friends on his way out. He stopped in front of them.</p><p>"I am to say goodbye," he said. The blonde one (Fiona?) he had hit on made a face and said something he didn't understand. The black haired woman (Monique?) spoke quickly and thrust a casserole dish into his arms. He looked at it.</p><p>"Grazie," he said. He didn't want to be rude. The black haired guy, Roz, gave him a dirty look. Paolo knew this guy didn't like him, but why he'd never understand. He shuffled to the door, and Roz was saying something about speaking for everyone, but then the door was slammed in his face. Paolo stared at it a moment. Apparently that guy had no problem being rude. He slowly went down to his apartment where he set the lasagna on the counter. He had no appetite really. Then he went to get his belongings. It was getting chilly as he bent down to collect his clothes that she had thrown off the balcony. He looked up and saw her there, but she did not see him. Roz was with her. He chuckled. She was a wild one that was for sure, so Roz would be very lucky. He went back to his apartment and set his clothes down on the table. His cat greeted him with a soft bunt of her head. He scratched her ears. He was going to miss Racquel. She was definitely something else. Maybe if he gave her some space she would come around. Perhaps he should work on his English. She obviously didn't understand when he told her he liked dating multiple women. When he was in Italy, he was with a few different women. Surely she knew? He scratched his head. Maybe not. He sat down on his couch and sighed, staring at the ceiling. She was so beautiful, and he was going to miss her, but he had a feeling they would be seeing each other again in the future.</p><p>
  <strong>Roger </strong>
</p><p>Phoebe's friends didn't like him. <em>They</em> didn't like <em>him</em>? Well, he wasn't going to just sit by and let that happen. He was fuming, but he had to try to keep it together at least. For Phoebe. She was a little quirky but in a cute way.</p><p>"I'm not really that surprised they don't like me," he said eventually.</p><p>"Really?" she asked. "Oh, that's why you're so great!"</p><p>"It's very, you know, typical behavior of a group that so dysfunctional like they are. You know, the emotionally stunted, co-dependent, sitting in this ridiculously stupid coffee house with its ridiculously stupid big cups, which I'm sorry, they might as well have damn nipples on them! And you're all 'Ooohh love me! Define me! Love me! I need love!"</p><p>"Whoa," Phoebe said, putting her hands out.</p><p>"And you know what? I don't give a damn if they don't like me. At least I'm freaking normal!" Roger finished, spit spraying everywhere. He was shaking, and his fists were clenched.</p><p>"Okay, um, there there," Phoebe said.</p><p>"There there?" he asked, incredulous.</p><p>"I don't think this is going to work," Phoebe told him, wincing.</p><p>"You don't think...? Okay, I...I gotta go. You are a ditzy, stupid person, you know that?" he spluttered. He stormed out of the coffeehouse. The nerve! She broke up with him! It should have been the other way around. Her friends were exhausting, and they had so many problems! He didn't envy the poor son of a bitch who'd end up with her. They'd have to be equally as nuts.</p><p>
  <strong>Lorraine</strong>
</p><p>She felt mildly bad for leaving her friend with Joey's friend, but it had been worth it. Joey had no idea what he had coming to him. They reached her apartment, and things were getting steamy. She paused briefly when he used the word "slather" wrong, but she let it go. He was so hot! She was so lucky to have a date on Valentine's Day. It had been by chance that she'd even met Joey at the subway the other day. She had seen his poster on the wall there that said he had won three Tony Awards. It was impressive. Then suddenly, he was standing right beside it, almost as if it had been planned intentionally. He hadn't. She had asked. They had chatted, and they set up a date. Now, she was making good work of that chocolate mousse. Then suddenly, she didn't feel quite right.</p><p>"Hey, you all right?" Joey asked her when she paused. She was almost to the best part, but her stomach was really queasy all of a sudden.</p><p>"I don't...I don't feel so..." she started. Then she threw up. Right on his chest. She stared in horror afterwards.</p><p>"Yea, I think I'm gonna call it a night," he said, getting up.</p><p>"I'm so, so sorry!" she called after him. What had happened? She had felt fine earlier! It must have been that stupid Chandler jinxing her. Hadn't he said something about hoping she'd be sick on him?</p><p>"I'll call you," Joey said after he'd cleaned up and gotten dressed.</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>"Sure," he nodded. She didn't believe him. Once he was gone, she stamped her foot. She'd lost her chance and would never get it back again. She picked up the phone. Time to call her mother. Where was her ice cream again?</p><p>
  <strong>Kristin </strong>
</p><p>When Ross invited Carol to sit with them, Kristin knew that was the end of her date with Ross. She watched as they chatted and laughed together. It was quite obvious that Ross still loved his ex-wife. Kristin observed the two of them, and she began to feel bad for Ross. She knew what it felt like to love someone and not be loved back. She tilted her head, watching Carol tinkle out more laughter. No wonder they got married. Other than the whole lesbian thing, Carol was perfect for Ross.</p><p>"Excuse me," she said, cutting in. "I'm just going to use the washroom."</p><p>"Sure," Ross said, not even looking at her. She pondered for a moment before grabbing her coat. She'd watch by the door to see if he even looked to see if she was still there. After five minutes and no look, Kristin knew it was time to leave. She hoped Ross would find someone who would love him back as much as he loved Carol. She wound up at her sister's place and helped her finish a bottle of wine. Boys were dumb, but she had to admit, Ross was cute. He'd just have to be the one that got away.</p><p>
  <strong>Janice </strong>
</p><p>"There's no new way to tell you this," Chandler started. "But...we can't be together."</p><p>"That's fine," Janice said simply. A small part of her wanted to kill her friend Lorraine for making her come on this stupid date that turned into sleeping with Chandler and getting her hopes up again, but she kept the smile on her face.</p><p>"It is?" he asked, surprised.</p><p>"Yup, cos this isn't over," she said, standing.</p><p>"It's not?"</p><p>"Nope. Because you won't let it happen. You love me."</p><p>"Oho, no I don't."</p><p>"Yes you do. Something in your soul calls out to me. You need me. You're like a foghorn. Jaaaaaaniiiiiice. Jaaaaaaaniiiiice. You love me, you need me, and you can't live without me. You know it, but you don't know that you know it," she finished. Then she leaned in and kissed him passionately before going out the front door of the cafe.</p><p>"Call me!" she heard him yell after her. She smirked to herself. How many times was he going to go out with her and sleep with her until he realized that they were destined to be together. She walked to her favorite bagel store to get something to eat, and that's when she accidentally bumped into a man who dropped his bagel. He looked down at it sadly.</p><p>"I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed. "Here, let me buy you a new bagel."</p><p>"That's sweet of you," the man said. "Thanks."</p><p>"I'm Janice," she said, holding out her hand.</p><p>"I'm Gary, Gary Litman," he replied, shaking it smoothly. Janice felt her heart tumble, and her eyes were trapped in the gaze of his.</p><p>"Oh boy," she said, her voice wobbly. She was completely blown away, swept off her feet.</p><p>
  <strong>Celia </strong>
</p><p>She was completely grossed out. Marcel the Monkey was hanging off her hair like it was a tree branch. She started to scream. Ross eventually got the damn thing off of her, but she was afraid of it now. She made him lock it away in the bedroom. After watching a bit of a movie, she got into the mood. She coaxed Ross on top of her.</p><p>"Talk to me," she said, kissing him.</p><p>"Oh, well, something weird happened on the train this morning..."</p><p>Seriously?</p><p>"No, no. Talk dirty to me," she corrected.</p><p>"Oh. Oh, okay," he stammered. "Like what?"</p><p>"Something hot," she demanded.</p><p>"Okay. Um...uh...vulva," he blurted out. Celia looked at him and then burst out laughing.</p><p>"You're adorable," she said. "Come here." She pulled him into her arms and cuddled him. He seemed to like it. She felt a little bored since she really wanted sex, but what could you do? The guy needed to learn how to talk dirty first. This could be a challenge.</p><p>...</p><p>The second time was no better. Ross obviously thought he was doing a good job, but bringing in villagers? That was just weird.</p><p>"Let's just cuddle," she suggested, which he happily obliged to. She rolled her eyes once he couldn't see her. This was obviously not going to work out, which was too bad because she was pretty sure Ross would be wickedly good in the sack.</p><p>
  <strong>Ursula </strong>
</p><p>It was so weird seeing her twin sister. Ursula tried not to be thrown by it. She also tried not to think about Joey. Yes, he was sweet and cute and amazing in bed, but he just wasn't right for her. She hoped he wouldn't remember that under the bridge on their first date she had told him he was just right for her. She really needed to stop doing that. She finished her shift at Riffs and headed home. She walked by Central Perk and saw Phoebe in there with Joey. She paused to watch and get another look at Joey. He was quite handsome. Maybe she had made a mistake not going out with him again. Then, she saw him kiss Phoebe.</p><p>"Oh," she said. So he liked her sister too. Well, that wasn't going to work then. She did not date cheaters. She hurried away, thinking about all the things she needed to do around the apartment the next day. Joey was long forgotten.</p><p>
  <strong>Dr. Mitchell &amp; Dr. Rosen </strong>
</p><p>"I can't believe I actually missed the pagan ritual," Dr. Rosen said to Dr. Mitchell. They had escaped the apartment where Monica and Rachel were seemingly going at each other in some weird way by hurling insults at one another. They were both putting down the other in such a mean way. Dr. Mitchell felt disappointed that they didn't turn out to be semi normal as he had hoped.</p><p>"That hummus was good," Dr. Rosen said.</p><p>"Oh give it a rest. She's not even here," Dr. Mitchell groaned. They got into the cab they caught and slid into the backseat.</p><p>"I can't believe you answered their phone," Dr. Rosen laughed.</p><p>"That was so awkward! I hate ringing phones when someone is there to answer them," Dr. Mitchell said.</p><p>"I think we dodged a bullet," Dr. Rosen pointed out.</p><p>"Perhaps you're right," Dr. Mitchell sighed.</p><p>...</p><p>Not even 24 hours later did Dr. Mitchell see the two of them again. This time, they were accompanied by a man who was crying about his monkey choking on the letter "K." Dr. Mitchell wasn't quite sure what he was doing when he piped up that he could help. He saved the little creature, though, cos that's what he did. He saved lives. He smiled at "Rachel," not knowing it was actually Monica. She was pretty cute. He wondered if he could ask her out again. Then he remembered that she was a touch crazy, and he let it go. There would be other women, just not these two.</p>
<p></p><div class="storytextp">
<p></p><div class="storytext xcontrast_txt nocopy"><p>
      <strong>Barry </strong>
    </p><p>It was so pathetically stupid of him to sleep with Rachel again. What was the matter with him?! Then she comes back with Mindy of all people and rats him out. The funny thing was, though, Mindy chose to still get married. Barry was shocked. He certainly felt very mixed up. Rachel was Rachel, you know. But Mindy...Oh man. He was really mixed up. Then he found out Mindy wanted Rachel to be her maid of honor! The awkwardness! It had just reached a whole new level. Barry cleared his head to focus on the person in front of him choking on their retainer. Rachel was the past. He knew that now for sure. Yes, it had been a lovely time, but Mindy was his true love. There was no going back to Rachel ever again.</p><p>
      <strong>Danielle </strong>
    </p><p>Chandler had been very sweet and funny. She got a strange message from him with clanging dishes in the background after their date, though. It was a little strange. Then she got another call later where no one answered her hello, but she did hear odd sounds and a squeak before they hung up. Could it have been Chandler? She wasn't sure. The next day she tried to call him, and it didn't go through. After a few tries, she went down to the cafe to see him. He was there with his friends.</p><p>"Hi," she said.</p><p>"Everyone, this is Danielle," Chandler said. She waved.</p><p>"I thought I'd pop in and see if you were all right. I couldn't get a hold of you on the phone."</p><p>"Oh. I'm great," Chandler answered.</p><p>"Good. So, call me sometime? We can go on a second date?" she asked.</p><p>"Sure," he nodded. She smiled and turned to leave. He was so cute! She couldn't wait to hear from him again. After three weeks, she got the message that he was never going to call her again, and it broke her heart a little. Was it something she'd said or did? She guessed she would never know.</p><p>
      <strong>Ethan </strong>
    </p><p>He loved her. Oh God did he love her. And the sex! It had been incredible! Ethan sat in his bedroom and tried to compose a letter to her since she wasn't taking his calls. He knew he was too young for her, but what was nine years difference anyway? Age was just a number. They were good together. No, they were great together. He had to see her. He eventually found her at the coffeehouse she frequented, and when he confronted her she said it was "icky."</p><p>Icky!</p><p>She'd actually used that word. Ethan couldn't believe it. Then she told him that if it had been a different time, she could have loved him. Oh, that had hurt so bad. Watching her leave had hurt even more. His 17 year old heart was about to burst. He went home and fell onto his bed. He would never forget her. He just couldn't. She had been is first love. First everything really. He closed his eyes. He could still smell her perfume.</p><p>
      <strong>Lydia </strong>
    </p><p>She felt a little sad that Joey had never returned. After all, he had been there for her at a time she needed someone the most, and he had even held her baby after the birth. Her own boyfriend hadn't bothered to show up for any of that. He came after, trying to smooth things over. Lydia kept thinking about Joey and how cute he was. She wished that things had been different. Perhaps they would have dated and fell in love. Lydia shook her head. She couldn't think these things, not if she was going to make her current relationship work. Joey had been the sweet guy who helped her give birth. That's all she could remember him as.</p><p>
      <strong>Dr. Franzblau</strong>
    </p><p>He knew he shouldn't have said the thing he had said to Rachel. If he had just kept his mouth shut, they'd probably be dating now. He had finished with Carol, Susan, and Ross's baby delivery, and he was finishing up his paperwork. He couldn't stop thinking about Rachel. She had gone home to change just for him. She seemed sweet and cute and hot, but then he'd blown it.</p><p>"If I see one more cup of coffee...what is wrong with me?" he groaned. Any woman would run screaming from that. He spent the next hour daydreaming about what it'd be like dating Rachel. Too bad he'd never find out.</p><p>
      <strong>Melanie </strong>
    </p><p>Joey was the sweetest! He was SO generous too. She'd never felt so pleasured in her life. She found it a little odd that he wouldn't let her return the favor, but who was she to complain? Most men were pigs and never spent any time being there for a woman. She hoped her fruit baskets showed her appreciation. His roommate certainly seemed to talk about them enough. After two weeks of dating, though, he stopped being so generous. Melanie realized that he really was just another guy who was all "me, me, me." It was heartbreaking. She couldn't even focus on her fruit baskets, but it had ended on good terms. Joey wasn't one to be mean. Melanie was grateful for that. She just wished things could have been more equal in that department.</p><p>
      <strong>Carl </strong>
    </p><p>Here he was sharing a story with Rachel and she suddenly just walks away and says she has somewhere to be. He was stunned. No woman ever walked away from him like that. He was Carl! Then her friend, Monica, came out, and she was smiling. Carl smiled back. She seemed nice, but she wouldn't shut up about her damn cooking. Carl couldn't wait to get out of there. Since things with Rachel appeared to be a bust, he got to thinking about a different woman he could date. Rachel was cute for sure, but her attention span sucked. He liked when women were attentive to his stories. He indulged Monica for a while before excusing himself. There was no sense in wasting an evening if he wasn't getting anywhere with anyone. He hoped Rachel would be happy with someone else. He wasn't a total jerk after all. He did wish people well.</p><p>
      <strong>Paolo</strong>
    </p><p>He couldn't help but smirk to himself. Sure, he knew Raquel was obviously upset about something to make her come down to his apartment and sleep with him and then again at her apartment. He figured he would enjoy it, though, as he knew it wouldn't last. He believed it had something to do with the Ross guy, but he wasn't sure what. Maybe he was dating someone and she didn't like it. Who knew? He cuddled with his cat. Raquel had just left. She had broken it off again, which he predicted, but he was okay with that. He was going back to Italy at the end of the month. He was working on a relationship over there that was better suited to him. He really hoped Raquel figured out what was upsetting her and felt better. Even though he knew he could be a jerk, he did care about her. He doubted he would ever see her again.</p><p>
      <strong>Annabelle</strong>
    </p><p>Joey had been really sweet. She wished she had slept with him sooner than wasting her time on Hombre man. They had gone out for coffee after Hombre man got fired for spraying his perfume into a man's face. He might even get sued, she wasn't sure. Anyhow, she and Joey had really hit it off, and she invited him back to her place after. She knew after he left the morning after she would probably never date him again or sleep with him again, and she felt a little sad. His gig at the store was temporary, and he wouldn't be there after a couple of weeks. Maybe she could get another round out of him. She pondered this as she helped customers. She craned her neck but couldn't see him at his usual spot. Her heart sank. She hadn't realized how much she enjoyed his company.</p><p>
      <strong>Joan<br/>
</strong>
    </p><p>"I just don't understand," she cried to her mother, who patted her arm in an attempt to make her feel better.</p><p>"He's an idiot," her mother told her. Joan blew her nose hard. Then she groaned.</p><p>"I mean. I always knew I was nasally abundant, but did he have to point it out?!" she sobbed.</p><p>"He obviously didn't know how to handle it, dear," her mother sighed. This Chandler fellow sounded like a real asshole.</p><p>"He said bats flew out when I sneezed!" Joan shrieked. "Who says that?!"</p><p>"Assholes do," her mother nodded. She rubbed Joan's back softly. "There, there. Someone better will come along and not say such mean things."</p><p>"I hope he drops dead," Joan sniffed hard. "Or at least whoever he ends up with constantly rides his ass about what he does and looks like all the time."</p><p>"If you said he ate two burgers and a huge pile of poutine, then I think he might drop dead first," her mother said, thinking.</p><p>"I hate him," Joan whimpered. "Please hold me." Her mother rocked her back and forth gently. Joan hoped she never saw Chandler Bing ever again. It would be better for him if she didn't.</p><p>
      <strong>Janice<br/>
</strong>
    </p><p>The look on Chandler's face! Janice couldn't help but keep laughing. When he saw her pregnant belly and the panic hit his eyes, she knew it had been so worth it. It was her last shot at him for being such an ass. She was happily married now, and she really had him to thank for releasing her back into the public as a single woman. She would have missed this opportunity otherwise. She smiled to herself as she rubbed her pregnant belly. Chandler was very much in the past now.</p><p>
      <strong>Allison<br/>
</strong>
    </p><p>"Do I really have a big head?" Allison demanded. Her coworker, Jen, turned to look at her, surveying the point of topic.</p><p>"It's a little bigger than usual, but not out of the ordinary," Jen replied. She went back to her magazine.</p><p>"Chandler said he couldn't date me because my head is too big. Who the hell says that?!" Allison asked, angry.</p><p>"You dated Chandler Bing?" Jen snorted. "Really? The numbers guy?"</p><p>"Yea..."</p><p>"Honey, you can do so much better. He has major issues."</p><p>"Like what?"</p><p>"I don't know for sure, but I think he might be gay," Jen told her.</p><p>"Ooohhh," Allison said, nodding her head. Maybe that was it. Chandler dumped girls for stupid reasons because he couldn't really admit he was gay. That made sense. She went to the bathroom and looked into the mirror. She so did not have a big head...</p><p>
      <strong>Duncan<br/>
</strong>
    </p><p>"I'm getting married again. Her name is Debra."</p><p>Duncan thought about Phoebe's face when he said those words. She was visibly crushed, and he felt really bad. He wished he had realized sooner that he was in fact straight. Maybe they could have made their marriage work. He passed by a flower shop and decided to stop in. He didn't know her new address, but he knew her old one. He decided to send her a bouquet as a thank you and to remind her she was beautiful and would find someone to marry and love one day.</p><p>"Are these for you wife?" the woman asked, wrapping the flowers.</p><p>"My ex wife," he answered, which was the truth. She looked at him, puzzled.</p><p>"What for?"</p><p>"To say I'm sorry. I let her down," Duncan explained.</p><p>"You're sweet," the woman said. "You said ex, though. How is this going to help you work on your marriage?"</p><p>"It's not. I just thought she'd like them."</p><p>"I see."</p><p>"Thanks," Duncan said, leaving her in charge of delivering them. He had to meet Debra very soon to tell her the good news. He took one look back towards the direction of where he left Phoebe. He really did hope she was all right.</p><p>
      <strong>Jade<br/>
</strong>
    </p><p>She really, really missed Bob. The time she spent with the Chandler fellow was very...ehhh. He just didn't do it for her. She could tell he was really trying, and good for him, but it wasn't meant to be. She wanted Bob. She couldn't have Bob, though. She hoped she never had to see Chandler again. Pretending to have a good time was so hard. She dialed the number again, hoping to get Bob. She started leaving a message, and before she finished, she hung up. It was stupid after all. Three years was long enough to forget someone. She would just have to move on. She hoped no one else heard her message except Bob. That would be so embarrassing.</p><p>
      <strong>Michael<br/>
</strong>
    </p><p>Rachel had been so incredibly distracted at dinner. He almost wished he hadn't bothered with the date at all aside from the fact he thought he could get lucky. He didn't. She went on and on about cats and someone's girlfriend. It didn't make much sense. It could have gone well if she hadn't gotten drunk to boot. She had apologized profusely about not making it a fun time for him, and he told her not to worry about it. Then he'd told her about closure, and she nagged the neighboring man to use his phone to leave a message for some guy named Ross. Well, that made a lot of sense.</p><p>"Hey, Monica?" he said into the phone now.</p><p>"Yea?"</p><p>"Don't ever set me up on a date again."</p><p>He hung up before she answered back. That was his closure from that ridiculous date. Now, he was going to go out to a bar and pick up a woman the old fashioned way. Or did they still do that sort of thing? It really had been a while.</p><p>
      <strong>Julie </strong>
    </p><p>Julie was heartbroken. She just didn't understand how something that was going so well could end so horribly. Ross was in love with Rachel?! Where the hell did that come from? She grabbed another tissue to blow her nose with. That rotten son of a bitch! She picked up the phone.</p><p>"Hello?" Monica's voice said. Julie hung up. She was hoping to get Rachel. She wanted to yell at the bitch for a while for stealing her boyfriend. Julie loved Ross. She cried harder. Then she got an idea. She would visit little miss so and so at work! She set off for the cafe feeling bold and angry. When she got there, Rachel wasn't working. Julie felt herself wilt and lose all her anger.</p><p>"Muffin?" Terry the manager asked, holding one out for her.</p><p>"Thanks," she said, taking it. It was as if he knew.</p><p>"I'm sorry," he said. "I saw them kissing last night. That was so rude of him to do that to you."</p><p>"They kissed?!" Julie exploded. Oh my God! This made it so much more worse!</p><p>"Um...no," Terry shook his head, getting nervous.</p><p>"You just said...Oohh nevermind," Julie huffed. She spun on her heel and took off. She now hated Ross. When she got back home, she picked up the phone again to call and hesitated. What good what it really do to scream and yell at Rachel? It would only make her look crazy, and she didn't need that again. She set the phone down and stared at the wall blankly. She had to pull herself together and work through this. She was strong. She could do it. Then Julie had a better idea. She went back to the cat place and got herself a little kitten. As she cuddled it on the way home, she couldn't help but smile. This little creature was going to be her support for a long time. Things just might look up again. Maybe.</p><p>
      <strong>Fun Bobby </strong>
    </p><p>Why he even considered getting back with Monica he will never know. She was cute and funny, but man, she had a drinking problem! The nerve of her to point out that he had one when she was just as bad! He was at the bar, pondering what to do. He had just broken up with her, and he had this feeling he needed a drink. He looked at the glass in front of him and picked it up. Then he set it down. He didn't need this. He needed to stay sober. Even though Monica drank a lot, she had been right about him. He relied on alcohol too much. He was going to get his life together and find a woman who would treat him right and love him for who he was. It was time to let Monica go.</p><p>
      <strong>Russ</strong>
    </p><p>All thoughts of Rachel fell out of his head when he saw the woman holding the box in front of him. The world stopped, and he couldn't hear or see anyone but her.</p><p>"Hi," she said.</p><p>"Hi," he said back. She set down the box and went over to him.</p><p>"I'm Julie."</p><p>"I'm Russ."</p><p>"Hi," she said again, blushing.</p><p>"This might be awfully forward, but would you like to get a coffee?" Russ asked. "Not here."</p><p>"Sure!" she replied eagerly. They headed out the door, oblivious to the looks on all the friends' faces. Russ couldn't believe his luck. This Julie seemed wonderful. He had this feeling in his heart that he was going to marry this girl. He couldn't explain it. He just hoped that she felt the same way about him.</p><p>
      <strong>Rob</strong>
    </p><p>He had loved her music. The kids had loved her music. She had been such a great kisser. They went on a couple of dates, but it just didn't grow from there. Rob didn't know what it was. Maybe it was because Phoebe was a bit too eccentric for him. It could also be because she had written a rather unflattering song about him. He knew she probably meant it to be a compliment, but referring to the size of his hands was a little embarrassing. It didn't always work like that, and Rob didn't want her to see it after that. She would be disappointed. He had let her down easy, explaining that he just didn't feel the spark. She had taken it rather well. Too well, really. It seemed she was too preoccupied with her friends fighting over who was going to sleep with Jean Claude Van Damme. He walked away from the Perk with his hands in his pockets. Perhaps if things had been different, but you could do that forever. It wasn't meant to be. Rob decided to just leave it at that.</p><p>
      <strong>Susie </strong>
    </p><p>"Turn around. Let me see it from behind," she said, backing away. She quickly scooped all of Chandler's clothes and got ready to bolt.</p><p>"Well?" he asked.</p><p>"Someone's been doing their buns of steel video," she commented. She had to try very hard not to laugh.</p><p>"Do you want me to, uh, clench anything? Susie?"</p><p>"This is for fourth grade!" she cried when he saw her.</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"What do I mean?! I mean, underpants! You lifted my skirt in fourth grade, and I was Susie Underpants until I was 18."</p><p>"But...that was fourth grade. How could you still be upset by that?" he asked.</p><p>"Call me in 20 years and let me know if you are still upset about this," she said, leaving with his clothes. She hurried out of the restaurant without being seen by the others. She started laughing hysterically once she was outside. She had his clothes. He was left in her underpants in a public restaurant. She just wished she could stay and watch! Oh, revenge felt so, so good.</p><p>"Hi, Mom?" she said into her phone. "Yea. I got him!"</p><p>"You what, dear?"</p><p>"I got Chandler Bing back. For the underpants thing."</p><p>"Oh. What happened with that again?"</p><p>"Oh my God, are you kidding? He got me named...you know what? Never mind. I feel great. I don't need reassurance for that," Susie said, hanging up. She stood in the street holding his clothes. What was she gonna do with them? Burn them. That sounded great. She took off in the direction of her hotel room. She'd take them home and burn them. That would be the grand finale. Maybe she'd mail him the charred pieces. But, she didn't know his address. She paused. Then she shook her head. No matter. He didn't need to know. There was a skip in her step now. Chandler Bing was gonna reveal his thing...in a pretty little thong. She hoped someone would get a picture of it.</p><p>
      <strong>Ryan </strong>
    </p><p>The chicken pox had been worth it. He got to spend the entire week with Phoebe, and even though they wanted to scratch each other's faces off, they still had a good time. When he left her standing there waving, he felt really sad suddenly. Why was he leaving? Why didn't he stay here for her? Was this what he really wanted with his life? To only have a week with a woman he cared about every so many years? What would happen when she finally moved on? He finally managed to hail a cab, and he got in it. As he drove away, he turned to look at her still waving. She was incredibly sweet, and he didn't know what was wrong with him. It was too late now. He could only hope that she would still be waiting for him the next time he came back. Maybe then he'd be brave enough to tell her he loved her, that he was going to quit for her. Maybe.</p><p>
      <strong>Barry </strong>
    </p><p>"That was a little mean, Barry," Mindy said once the wedding and reception was over.</p><p>"I know. It just slipped out. It felt like our wedding day all over again, but this time, I got to watch her leave," Barry sighed.</p><p>"Well, I'm glad she bailed on your wedding. It means that you married me," Mindy smiled.</p><p>"You think she and that Ross fellow will get married?"</p><p>"I don't know," Mindy said. "He seemed nice."</p><p>"He kept going on about being a doctor," Barry scoffed.</p><p>"You do too," Mindy pointed out.</p><p>"I work on teeth. He works on dinosaurs. There's a big difference," Barry snorted. Mindy kissed him then to make him stop talking.</p><p>"Let's just enjoy our honeymoon, okay?"</p><p>"All right."</p><p>Barry sighed as she rested her head on his shoulder. Their limo was almost to the airport. He felt a little bad for telling everyone Rachel had syphilis. She didn't deserve that. Well, she sort of did, but maybe not to that extreme. He looked out the window then. Rachel was finally in the past. He probably wouldn't ever see her again.</p><p>
      <strong>Richard </strong>
    </p><p>They broke up because he didn't want children. As he said goodbye to her, trying not to cry, he couldn't help but feel so incredibly stupid for ending something so real for that. He watched her walk away with Rachel and Ross, and he felt his heart shatter. He'd lost the best relationship he'd ever had. What was wrong with him?! He went home, and when he arrived, he sat on his couch and lit a cigar. He smoked it and then another. And then another. He finally cried. He hadn't cried in forever. Monica was amazing. What had he done?! He reached for the phone and then stopped himself. He didn't want kids. He wasn't going to change his mind. Why would he pretend that he could? It was better to leave her alone. She could find someone who wanted the same things she did. His phone rang then.</p><p>"Hello?" he said eagerly.</p><p>"You broke up with my daughter?!" Jack exclaimed. Richard winced. He knew this was coming.</p><p>"It was mutual," he answered.</p><p>"You really hurt her," Jack went on. "Judy said she's crying."</p><p>"I know. This wasn't easy for either of us."</p><p>"You're lucky I don't come down there and give you a piece of my mind left then right," Jack growled. Richard knew that left then right meant Jack's fists striking him. The man was terrible at threatening talk.</p><p>"If it makes you feel better," Richard said.</p><p>"It would!"</p><p>"See you soon then," Richard sighed.</p><p>"I can't. Judy is making supper. Maye after," Jack said.</p><p>"All right."</p><p>They hung up, and Richard knew he was going to have an altercation with Jack sooner or later. He might as well get it over with. He lit another cigar. For now, he was going to drown his sorrows and think about his lost love.</p>
<p></p><div class="storytextp">
<p></p><div class="storytext xcontrast_txt nocopy"><p>
          <strong>Malcom<br/>
</strong>
        </p><p>Phoebe had been very sweet when she offered him the chance to stalk her instead. Malcom just didn't have it in him to stalk both her and Ursula, though. He didn't even know why he preferred Ursula so much. It got tiring trying to be in two places at once all the time, so Malcom had to let Phoebe down easy.</p><p>"I appreciate you trying to help me," he told her. They were sitting down by the subway. "But I can't do this anymore. It's too hard."</p><p>"Oh," Phoebe said, nodding her head slowly.</p><p>"I've joined a group," he said vigorously.</p><p>"What, Stalker's Anonymous?" Phoebe asked, sarcastic.</p><p>"Yea, that's the one. How did you know?" he questioned, tilting his head.</p><p>"Oh, wow," Phoebe said, biting her cheeks.</p><p>"Anyway, it's best that I wean myself off, so me not following you anymore is a good start."</p><p>"So you pick Ursula over me still?"</p><p>"She's the original target so that... Sorry, group stuff," Malcom shrugged. He patted her knee affectionately.</p><p>"So, this is it?"</p><p>"Yea, it is. Thank you for everything, Phoebe," he said, getting up to leave. He didn't wait for her response. It would only make things harder. He had to complete the 12 step program, and if he didn't, well, that's when the police got involved, and Malcom didn't want that.</p><p>
          <strong>Janice<br/>
</strong>
        </p><p>She knew this was the very last time she was leaving Chandler Bing. They had had a good run, and she did love him, but he was right. She had to give her marriage to Gary another chance. After all, he'd been there after her last break up with Chandler. He'd loved her for her, and he didn't mock her, or so she believed. When she left Chandler in the coffee house, she limped down the street in her one shoe. She was a little annoyed that she lost her other shoe because they weren't cheap, but it was something Chandler would probably hang on to and help him move on from her. She had to think of it that way. She found Gary in his office.</p><p>"Hi," he said, standing up quickly.</p><p>"Hi," she smiled.</p><p>"Are you...are you calling off the divorce?" he asked quietly, not quite daring to hope. She sighed long and loud.</p><p>"I am," she answered. "But!" She held up her finger before he could talk again. "On a few conditions."</p><p>"Anything," he said, nodding. She rhymed off the things she wanted to change in their relationship, and Gary knew he could do them. He went around his desk and pulled her into a strong embrace once she was finished talking.</p><p>"I love you," he said. "And I promise we are going to make this marriage work."</p><p>"I love you too," Janice said, patting his back. She worked hard to push down the thought of Chandler Bing and would could have been. She knew him. She knew he would eventually panic and break up with her. That was the pattern. She had finally broken it, and she wasn't about to start it up again. She had Gary and their child now, and they were important to her. Chandler was a chance she lost out on, and it would always have to stay that way.</p><p>
          <strong>Margha</strong>
        </p><p>She had stopped to watch some cute boys play football, and it turned into a show of who was the better man. Margha felt disgusted after she left the park. She had thought the Chandler one was better than that, but he got all cocky and rubbed it into Joey's face that he won. Nobody "won" her, so that was the end of that. She did not hang around to see his reaction. She suddenly had a strong desire to return home where the boys at least didn't treat you as some kind of prize. As she walked, it began to fade. It really had only been a small blip in her path. She would never see those two men again.</p><p>
          <strong>Mary-Angela<br/>
</strong>
        </p><p>Never in her life had she felt so humiliated. Even though Cookie had punched Chandler and knocked him out, she still didn't feel better. She really had thought they had a connection. He just proved that she didn't know men at all. She was also angry at Mary-Theresa for making a move on Chandler. She always did that to Mary-Angela. She took the boy away because she was sexier. Well, in her mind at least. Mary-Angela was not one for feeling confident around boys, and Chandler had seemed so nice. It hurt to be proven wrong again.</p><p>"Hey," Joey knocked on her door. "You okay?"</p><p>"I'm fine," she sniffed. He came in anyway, sitting on the bed beside her.</p><p>"You sure about that?"</p><p>"Uh huh."</p><p>"Does it help that Chandler has a huge shiner?" Joey asked.</p><p>"A little," she smiled half-heartedly.</p><p>"Look," Joey said, taking her hands in his. "There is gonna be the perfect guy for you out there somewhere who will remember what you look like. Chandler isn't the one. He's a mess. God help the woman he does end up with because he is terrified of anything serious. You deserve someone ten times better than him."</p><p>"Thanks, Joey," Mary-Angela said, hugging her brother tightly.</p><p>"I'm sorry I didn't stop it from happening in the first place," he said.</p><p>"It's okay. I know better than to sleep with a drunk man who just broke up with someone," she sighed. "I'll be all right. How's Cookie's hand?"</p><p>"Didn't even need ice. Honestly, even his face is lousy," Joey scoffed. "You want a guy who has a rock hard face that at least leaves a dent in the other person's hand after they punch it." Mary-Angela laughed out loud at this, making Joey smile.</p><p>"There she is," he said, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Now I know you'll be all right."</p><p>"You always know what to say," she smiled.</p><p>"I'm the big brother. It's what I do," he said, getting up. "If you'll excuse me, I have to carry my friend home fireman style because he's still out cold."</p><p>Mary-Angela watched from her window as Joey loaded Chandler into the cab and drove away. Maybe in another life it could have been something, but in this life, he was just another doofus that she had spent a night with.</p><p>
          <strong>Julio<br/>
</strong>
        </p><p>He didn't understand why Monica didn't get the poem, that it was about all women. She had been incredibly angry. He'd had to duck from flying salt and pepper shakers because that was all she had within reach to throw at him. Well, there was a couple of napkin holders too, but she soon stopped throwing them when she realized she had to pay for them. Julio didn't get why she was so upset. To him, it was no big deal. He knew he couldn't continue to work there, though. He knew it was only a matter of time before Monica dumped something on his head. He didn't want to find out what. In the end, she did much worse. She brought in a string quartet to sing him a song that said he was a buttmunch and was bad in bed. That was enough for him. He went in to give his resignation after Monica had gone home afterwards since he was also tired of steely eyed glares and creamers being chucked at the back of his head when he wasn't looking. He was going to focus on his writing. It was going to make him a lot of money, he believed. He didn't need Monica or anyone else to help him.</p><p>
          <strong>Robert<br/>
</strong>
        </p><p>"This is a family place. Put the mouse back in the house," the blond man said. Robert didn't get what he meant until he saw where the man was looking.</p><p>"Oh God..." he trailed off, realizing. He squeezed his legs tightly together. Ross and Joey were avoiding looking at him, and Robert knew. He knew that everyone had seen it. He felt so embarrassed.</p><p>"I gotta go," he said, getting up.</p><p>"No, wait," Phoebe started.</p><p>"No, it's okay," he stopped her. "I...I think we should see other people."</p><p>"What? Why? Because you were hanging out all over the place?" she pressed.</p><p>"Ahhhh, you know what? Please don't talk to me right now," he said, moving out the door. He wasn't going to call her ever again. The embarrassment was way to huge. That, and she didn't even have the decency to tell him! She let the cafe owner tell him. He felt his face boiling as he walked home. It explained a few other of his past dates. He didn't know if he could ever show his face again after this.</p><p>
          <strong>Richard<br/>
</strong>
        </p><p>Losing Monica a second time was like a gunshot to the previous, semi-healed gunshot wound he'd received the first time they broke up. He didn't know why he did this, why they decided to be friends with benefits. They knew all along it wouldn't end well, and yet, they did it anyway. Richard was now in his apartment alone, Monica having left half an hour earlier. After he fell on a bed of thorns (literally), he wasn't quite up to their last game of racquetball. Monica had decided to just leave to save them more heartache. Richard walked out to his living room and grabbed a cigar. He noticed one was missing, and he knew Monica had taken it as a memento. His phone rang then, and he half hoped it would be Monica saying that they could make this work after all, that even though they wanted different things, it could still work. It sounded crazy in his head as he headed for the phone.</p><p>"Well?" his sister asked, her tone demanding.</p><p>"Well, what?"</p><p>"How was it?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"The date! With my neighbor!"</p><p>"Oh. It was fine."</p><p>"She looked a little down when she got home."</p><p>"You watched her?!"</p><p>"Hard to miss. She's right next door," his sister scoffed. "So? Why did you end it so early?"</p><p>"I was tired."</p><p>"Liar. Is there someone else?" she prodded. Richard half debated on telling her, but then he changed his mind.</p><p>"No, there isn't anyone else," he answered, and he knew it was true. He rubbed his neck hard then. He'd lost Monica for good this time. There was no going back.</p><p>
          <strong>Ginger<br/>
</strong>
        </p><p>"Ew, ew, ew!" she chanted as she clattered down the stairs. She could still feel Chandler's "nubbin" on her fingers, and it grossed her out. She entered the first bar she found and ordered a shot. How <em>creepy</em> was three nipples?! The horror! She downed her shot and looked around her. She wondered how many other guys had this problem. Ginger couldn't believe he had an issue with her fake leg when he was hiding that disgusting feature all along. She'd take a wooden anything over <em>that</em> any day. Hell, she'd even take another shot at Joey again than be near that...that thing. Joey. Now there was someone she hadn't had a chance to tell off for burning her leg in the fire at the cabin and then abandoning her there. What a coward!</p><p>"Another shot please," she said, gesturing. The bartender obliged. She knocked it back and shuddered one more time, trying to get rid of the mental image of the nubbin.</p><p>"Hey, babe," a man said, coming up next to her. "Can I buy you a drink?"</p><p>"Do you have three nipples?" she burst out. He stared.</p><p>"Um, no?" he said as a question. His face was perplexed looking.</p><p>"Good. Then yes, you can buy me a drink," she smiled, touching his arm. He chuckled and did so. Ginger forced the whole experience with Chandler out of her mind. She doubted she would think about him again in the next 24 hours if this all went well.</p>
<p></p><div class="storytextp">
<p></p><div class="storytext xcontrast_txt nocopy"><p>
              <strong>Mischa</strong>
            </p><p>Dinner with Monica had been very lovely. He didn't regret resigning from his job as Sergei's translator. The man didn't care about Mischa's personal life at all, and this was an opportunity he didn't want to miss. They had talked for hours, and Mischa thought that maybe, just maybe, this could go somewhere. When he dropped her off, she promised to see him again, and he said he'd call the next day. Well, he tried many times, but there was no answer. Then, after almost two days, she called him back and said she'd been trapped in her room because her roommate and brother took hours to break up and then she'd spent the next day consoling the roommate who was also her friend. She hadn't wanted to rub in her new relationship. Mischa had understood. He had promised to call again in a couple more days. Unfortunately, Sergei called and told him he had a broken arm from the ski trip he'd agreed to go on with Phoebe (well, he'd agreed to meet her there. She had said something about her cab being too small), and when they were at the hospital, it was discovered that Sergei had failed to renew their work visas properly, so they had to return to Russia. In the whirlwind of their departure, Mischa was unable to contact Monica face to face, so he had to leave her a message. He hoped she would understand.</p><p>
              <strong>Sergei </strong>
            </p><p>Phoebe had been divine. He wished he could speak English, though, as she seemed to always have something interesting or funny to say. He had been very annoyed at Mischa for abandoning them on their date. The next week and a bit consisted of him doing hand gestures with Phoebe and her yelling at him thinking that if she spoke louder, he would suddenly understand what she was saying. Then they had gone on that fateful ski trip where he had fallen and broken his arm. In her haste to make sure he was okay, Phoebe kept patting his broken arm, making him scream in pain. In the end, she had called an ambulance for him to take him back to the hospital in New York, and things only got worse when the hospital informed them they were staying in the country illegally as their work visas had expired. Mischa was ready to murder him, but Sergei had to admit that he was happy to leave the States and return home. He vowed never again to try to date someone who didn't speak his language no matter how lovely they were.</p><p>
              <strong>Chloe </strong>
            </p><p>"Well, he's in trouble," Isaac said, watching Ross bolt out of the building. Chloe nodded.</p><p>"If he didn't want to hurt his girlfriend, then why did he sleep with me?" she asked, feeling upset suddenly. He had acted like it was fine, that he had wanted it. Why now was he all in a rush to forget about it?</p><p>"Men are stupid," Isaac told her.</p><p>"You're a man," Chloe pointed out.</p><p>"True," Isaac said, pondering on this. Chloe grabbed her coat.</p><p>"I'll be back," she told him. She had to find Ross. She had to confront him. She missed him a Jasmine's place of work, but she didn't miss the part where Jasmine went on and on about the "bad thing" Ross had done. Chloe just nodded and agreed even though she had also partaken in the bad thing. She eventually got it out of Jasmine that Ross had gone to see Gunther. When Chloe arrived at Central Perk, she saw Ross and the girlfriend in a stand off with Gunther looking very pleased with himself.</p><p>"How could you?!" the girlfriend screamed. She charged out of the building with Ross on her heels. He bumped into Chloe, who reached out after him but decided not to call out. She had caused enough damage as it was. Then again, Ross was an adult, and he had made his own decision, so this whole thing wasn't entirely her fault if at all. He really should have thought it through before doing it. Chloe started to walk back to work, thinking about this. That's why she didn't do serious relationships. Someone was bound to get hurt.</p><p>
              <strong>Mark </strong>
            </p><p>It had been pure luck that Ross and Rachel broke up. All Mark had to do was bide his time, and he did. He waited a good solid few weeks before asking Rachel out. He had been so sure there was something between them. When she turned him down at the apartment, though, he had been crushed.</p><p>"It's not fair to you," Rachel said, looking at him sadly.</p><p>"Well, if you ever change your mind, I have no problems with getting back at Ross right here," Mark said, patting the couch.</p><p>"I will call if I change my mind," Rachel promised. Mark left then, knowing she would never call. Even though they were broken up, he could tell Rachel still cared about Ross. That was just a situation he knew he'd never come out on top of. He went for a walk to clear his head, and he ran into a woman who wasn't watching where she was going.</p><p>"I'm so sorry!" she cried, clutching his arms as they steadied themselves.</p><p>"It's all right. It's always a pleasure to bump into a woman," Mark winked. She giggled.</p><p>"Wanna get something to drink?"</p><p>"All right," he agreed. They started walking towards a bar. "What's your name?"</p><p>"Chloe."</p><p>"Very pretty."</p><p>"Thanks!"</p><p>Mark felt like he was going to get lucky with this girl. All thoughts of Rachel subsided very quickly.</p><p>
              <strong>Lauren </strong>
            </p><p>She should have known better than to date her coworker. She had been given fair warning about Joey Tribbiani, and she hadn't paid it any attention. She had been so certain they had a connection, not to mention how hot he was. Then, it all shattered.</p><p>"I'm really sorry," Joey said, wincing.</p><p>"About what?" Lauren asked, confused.</p><p>"I just...I have feelings for someone else, and I know this is gonna come as a shock to you, but it's Kate."</p><p>"Kate?!" Lauren spluttered, feeling angry.</p><p>"Yea. Look, things with you were great, they were! I just...I really like Kate more."</p><p>"Oh my God," Lauren said, realizing he was dumping her.</p><p>"Maybe in a different life..." Joey started.</p><p>"Get the hell away from me," Lauren hissed. Joey backed away immediately, hands up and eyes wide.</p><p>"All right, all right," he said. "I'm leaving."</p><p>"UGH!" she shrieked once he was gone. She kicked the table and then regretted it instantly. Now her foot was throbbing along with her broken heart. She couldn't believe it, and now she had to witness Kate and Joey mooning over each other in front of her. Double ugh! She needed this job, though, so she was going to just deal with it. She'd get her digs in at Joey here and there. He wasn't about to chase her off her first big gig. No sir!</p><p>
              <strong>Joanna </strong>
            </p><p>Chandler was a very puzzling man. First, they had so much fun. Then, he didn't call her. Finally, he admitted he wasn't interested in dating her before once again saying he'd call her!</p><p>"He isn't going to," Rachel told her once she had steered Chandler out of the building. "He's weird anyway, Joanna. I can promise you that. He is terrified of commitment and tells one too many jokes among other things."</p><p>"You don't have to reassure me that I dodged a bullet," Joanna sniffed. Rachel went red. Joanna went back into her office and shut the door hard behind her. Maybe Chandler was quirky, but she liked quirky. She had a feeling that this little dance they were doing wasn't over and she'd get her chance yet.</p><p>
              <strong>Kate </strong>
            </p><p>Saying goodbye to Joey was the hardest thing she'd ever done. She could see how heartbroken he was when he caught sight of her waving from behind the stage. He gave his speech, which made her smile, and then she left. Maybe one day she'd come back and they could try again.</p><p>"All set, miss?" the cab driver said.</p><p>"Yes," she nodded. They drove off to the airport, and she started to cry as the buildings went by her. Why couldn't she for once choose a relationship over her career? What was wrong with her? Wiping her eyes, she steeled herself. Work was the only guaranteed thing, that was why she chose it. Yes, she'd miss Joey, but she had to make sure she was secure financially before considering settling down. It was just the way it had to be.</p><p>
              <strong>Cailin </strong>
            </p><p>The way Ross obsessed over Tommy was so annoying. Cailin wondered why she even agreed to this date. Ross didn't pay her any attention whatsoever. Eventually, she left. Ross hadn't even cared.</p><p>"Hi, Mom," she said into the phone just outside the theatre. "Yup, another dud."</p><p>"You wanna come over?" her mom asked. "I've got the good ice cream."</p><p>"I'd love that," Cailin said, tearing up. "Mom, why can't I find a good man?"</p><p>"Oh, honey, you will," her mom promised.</p><p>"I'll see you soon," Cailin said, hanging up. She hurried to find a cab. She hated that she would see Ross at work. Maybe she could get transferred. It would just be so awkward now with Ross there every day. Then again, he might not even remember they went on this date. Sometimes she wondered how he functioned with life being so self-centered. She shook her head, putting all thoughts of him out of her mind. He wasn't worth it. She had good ice cream waiting for her, so she put her mind on that. This night would be over before she knew it.</p><p>
              <strong>Tommy</strong>
            </p><p>Damn bird! Damn Ross! Damn Rachel! He fumed as he stormed down the apartment steps. They all sucked! He angrily hailed a cab and slammed the door shut behind him.</p><p>"Where to, sir?"</p><p>"I don't know! Anywhere!" Tommy shouted. The driver cringed.</p><p>"I can't do that..."</p><p>"You can't do that? You can't?! Well, what are ya? Some big, stupid, doofus?"</p><p>"Sir..."</p><p>"Well screw you! I'll walk," he said, getting out and slamming the door again. The cab disappeared quickly. Tommy raged as he walked down the street. People stood back from him as he waved his arms and yelled. He didn't get too far before the police showed up.</p><p>"What do YOU want?!" Tommy glared at them.</p><p>"We've had some complaints about a crazy man yelling at himself on the street. You're the only one yelling, sir," the one officer said calmly.</p><p>"I'M NOT CRAZY!" Tommy screamed. He watched the other officer whisper into the first officer's ear, who nodded. Tommy caught the words "escaped" and "ward" in the same sentence. He was NOT going to go back there!</p><p>"Why don't you come with us?" he asked Tommy.</p><p>"No way!"</p><p>An ambulance pulled up then, and Tommy panicked. This wasn't his first rodeo. He ran, only to be tackled by the officer.</p><p>"We'll get you back to your room in no time," the officer said.</p><p>"No! NO!"</p><p>"Easy, sir," the paramedic said, giving him something. It got all soft and fuzzy soon. Tommy relaxed. The paramedics took him back to the psych ward where he had escaped from. They were still puzzled as to how and where he got the suit he was in. He kept babbling about a Rachel, but they chalked it up to his mentally ill state as there was no Rachel in his life that they were aware of. Just his mother and brother.</p><p>"Ahhhh," Tommy said as he sank onto his bed again. He was all right.</p><p>
              <strong>Vince &amp; Jason </strong>
            </p><p>"Unbelievable," Vince said as they left Phoebe behind.</p><p>"Yea," Jason agreed. He was very threatened by Vince physically, but he didn't let on. Phoebe had played them both, and Vince had offered him a beer, so he agreed.</p><p>"You didn't really miss much," Vince said to Jason once they sat down.</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Sexually. I mean, she'll do some pretty weird things, but I've had better."</p><p>"I really would rather not talk about it," Jason said stiffly.</p><p>"Open flame in the woods," Vince scoffed. "What's wrong with her?"</p><p>"She's different," Jason said, swigging his beer.</p><p>"So what do you do?" Vince asked after a while.</p><p>"I teach kindergarten."</p><p>"Oh," Vince said.</p><p>"It's a hard job," Jason defended himself.</p><p>"Not like fighting fire," Vince laughed. "Man, she has wide taste too."</p><p>"Enough about Phoebe!" Jason ordered. He didn't want to think about her. Maybe she had hurt him, but she was still gorgeous.</p><p>"Pretty lady ten o'clock," Vince said, gesturing. "Dibs."</p><p>"Then why did you even point her out?" Jason asked, disgruntled.</p><p>"I don't know," Vince pondered before hopping off his stool. Jason frowned as he walked over to the woman. Well, if he wanted to be like that, then Jason could play too. He banged his beer down and went over to introduce himself. Let the best man win!</p><p>
              <strong>Pete </strong>
            </p><p>So Monica couldn't stand watching him get beat up. So what? Pete didn't need her. He could barely feel anything anyway, so a broken heart didn't matter. His focus was to win the championship, and he would. He'd show her. Sure, they had a good thing going, and she was cute, and they were great together...</p><p>Wait, what was wrong with him? He just let the best woman he'd ever dated walk out that door!</p><p>"You'll be up in no time," his manager grinned, cutting into his thoughts. "Good riddance of the broad by the way. She was only hindering your progress."</p><p>"But she loved me," Pete said sadly.</p><p>"And you love ultimate fighting," his manager insisted. "You can't have both."</p><p>Pete sighed. Perhaps his manager was right. Monica would go on to find someone who could be there for her and not stuck in the fighting world. It was good while it lasted, and now it was over. He would eventually win and have the pick of any woman after that. They'd never make him feel as good as Monica did, but that was the price he was willing to pay.</p><p>
              <strong>Bonnie </strong>
            </p><p>"But why?" she implored, still not understanding. They had spent hours arguing about this, why Ross wanted to break up with her. It was almost five in the morning, and she could tell he was exhausted. Hell, so was she. She watched as he sighed long and hard and rubbed his hand through his hair. Her hair, that was one of the reasons he had given her. He didn't like her bald.</p><p>"It's Rachel," he finally said. "I still love her." Bonnie's heart stopped. They had spent all night fighting and crying over why they were breaking up, and he was just now saying it was because of Rachel?!</p><p>"Oh my God," she said, sinking onto the bed. She placed a hand on her freshly bald head. Rachel had tricked her into shaving her hair off. She was just realizing this now. She looked at Ross, who had fresh tears in his eyes.</p><p>"I'm sorry. I should have led with that," he apologized.</p><p>"Yes, you should have. You know what, Ross? You can have her."</p><p>"Bonnie..."</p><p>"I'm leaving."</p><p>"If there was no Rachel, I think we-"</p><p>"Do NOT finish that sentence," Bonnie ordered, putting her hand up. She threw her stuff into her open suitcase and shut it violently. She stormed past him, yanking the bedroom door open. She could have sworn she saw Rachel's door shut at the same time, but she didn't have the energy to bawl the woman out. She headed down the stairs and out the door, calling a cab on the way. She never wanted to see Ross again. How could he have led her on when all this time he still loved Rachel?! Bonnie was angry at Phoebe too, for not mentioning that they used to date. This whole thing could have been avoided. The betrayal of Ross burned her heart, and she hated Rachel with a passion. That woman was sneaky and conniving. She hoped the two of them would make each other miserable until the end of time. On the cab ride home, Bonnie cried. No man was ever going to love her fully, and it made her feel so alone. Then, she straightened her back and wiped away her tears. She didn't need a man. She would be just fine on her own. She would live well; that was the best revenge after all.</p><p>
              <strong>Chip </strong>
            </p><p>"This? This is <em>never</em> happening," Monica said, getting up from the table. Chip looked at her, confused. He had just finished telling her how he lived with his parents and all the perks he got from that such as his mother doing his laundry and cooking him dinner.</p><p>"I'm sorry?" he asked.</p><p>"I am dumping your ass," she answered.</p><p>"Because I live with my parents?" he questioned, incredulous.</p><p>"Because you never grew up," she replied, putting her coat on and starting to walk away.</p><p>"Well, you're the one missing out!" he called after her. "No free movies for you!" She didn't even answer. He couldn't understand why Monica had just dumped him. He was a catch, and he had a sweet thing going on in his life with his job and living situation. He got to hang around all their old friends...what was wrong with her? He sat there, puzzled. When he got home, his mother could tell he was off.</p><p>"Bad date?" she asked.</p><p>"I got dumped," he answered.</p><p>"Aw, sugar, it's okay," she said, pinching his cheek and giving him a hug. "Some day some woman is gonna be so lucky to have you."</p><p>"Thanks, Ma," Chip smiled. She was right. He had nothing to worry about.</p><p>
              <strong>Joanna </strong>
            </p><p>"I'll be right back," Chandler said, "just going to the washroom."</p><p>"All righty," Joanna smiled. She missed seeing him grab his clothes. It had been so great. She closed her eyes, remembering it. After a while, when he didn't come back, she started to panic.</p><p>"Chandler? Chandler!"</p><p>Nothing.</p><p>"Oh God," she whimpered, looking at her cuffed hands. She had never been more embarrassed in her life. She couldn't believe Chandler had just left her there! In this position! She had tried reaching the keys herself, but it was no use. She rolled back to her desk, resting her forehead onto it. She had felt so badly for leaving him like this before, but she had no idea he'd retaliate in the same way. Eventually she fell asleep, and later she awoke to noises outside in the office. Her head perked up.</p><p>"Who's out there?" she called.</p><p>"Rachel!"</p><p>"Could you get in here please?"</p><p>"They didn't have your usual bagel, so I just...Oh God!" Rachel shouted, stopping at the sight of Joanna, who gave a little wave.</p><p>"Can you get the key on the back of the door please?"</p><p>"Um, sure," Rachel said, dropping Joanna's food and hurrying over with the key.</p><p>"You can tell Chandler that we are never going out again," Joanna said angrily.</p><p>"All right," Rachel nodded. She backed up as Joanna stood up.</p><p>"Excuse me," Joanna said, heading to the washroom. She didn't even care what she looked like. She really had to go.</p><p>"Oh my," Sophie said, covering her mouth.</p><p>"Oh grow up," Joanna snapped. She closed the bathroom door behind her. After a few moments, she washed her face and tried to freshen up.</p><p>"Here are your clothes," Rachel said, opening the door and sticking her hand inside. Joanna took them from her.</p><p>"Why would he do that?" Joanna asked.</p><p>"Do what?"</p><p>"Tell me I'm beautiful," Joanna said sarcastically. "Lock me in the chair, Rachel. Why did he do that? Use your head!"</p><p>"You're not the first one to say that to me," Rachel said nervously. "And I don't know."</p><p>"Little wretch," Joanna muttered, applying her makeup now that she was dressed. Rachel disappeared, leaving her alone. Joanna sighed, looking at herself in the mirror. Yes, she was quite through with Chandler Bing.</p><p>
              <strong>Cheryl </strong>
            </p><p>She had been so certain things with Ross were going to work out. It puzzled her as to why he bolted out of her apartment as though he had been shot at. She knew he had been embarrassed thinking he had killed her hamster, but still. She lolled on her couch and watched TV. It was his loss really. She knew she was the hottest person working in that building, and if Ross could willingly pass it up, then he could suffer the consequences when she got with someone else. After a few hours of television, she heard a knock on her door. Half hoping it was Ross with a changed mind, she answered.</p><p>"Hi, I'm Monica, Ross's sister?" the woman said.</p><p>"Yea?"</p><p>"He told me about your apartment, and I...I can't sleep for thinking about it. Do you mind if I clean it?"</p><p>"No?" Cheryl said, shutting the door in her face. She leaned against the door, surveying her apartment. Was that why he'd left? He didn't like how her place looked? She snorted. He was one to talk. His place felt almost like a hospital. She went back to her couch, noticing a movement by her coffee table. If that rat was alive again, it was going to get it. She peered under the pile of shirts.</p><p>"Mitzi!" she cried, picking up her beloved hamster. "Oh, sweetie, I'm so glad to see you." She cuddled her little friend. Yes, she was quite happy with her living situation.</p><p>
              <strong>Timothy </strong>
            </p><p>He left Monica's apartment feeling nauseous. How could he have possibly thought he could date her after his father already had? It was way too weird. Even weirder, she reminded him of his mother. Talk about emotional scarring. He shuddered. Maybe if they had been introduced before she dated his father, something could have happened between them. He jumped aside when a man ran past him at full speed.</p><p>"Kathy!" the man shouted, waving his arms. Tim wasn't sure who he was, but he smiled as the man caught up to the woman, Kathy he presumed, and they started kissing. That's what he wanted one day, a happy ending. He hailed a cab, giving the couple one last glance. They were smiling and hugging. Tim knew how his father felt after Monica broke up with him twice. He was starting to feel as though maybe he had dodged a bullet after all.</p><p>
              <strong>Kathy </strong>
            </p><p>First Joey, then Chandler. Kathy felt like such a hypocrite. What was wrong with her?! She broke the hearts of two men that she had cared for in the matter of months. She hugged herself as she waited for her flight home to Chicago. She had ended things with Nick right after Chandler had left angry. That whole affair had been so stupid. It was just the play that had made them so hot for each other. She hated herself.</p><p>"Bad day?" a woman asked her. Kathy nodded.</p><p>"Yea, and it's my fault."</p><p>"You know what they say," the woman went on. "Tomorrow's a new day."</p><p>Kathy fake laughed until the woman moved on, and then she started to cry. Maybe tomorrow was a new day, but she'd lost the one thing she'd cared about more than anything: Chandler. As much as she hated herself for hurting Joey, she hated herself more for hurting Chandler. She really believed they could have had something real with each other, and she'd blown it. She ducked her head as she boarded the plane and found her seat. She had a long road ahead of her, and she didn't know if she could ever forgive herself for what she'd done.</p><p>
              <strong>Janice </strong>
            </p><p>She felt sorrow as she watched Chandler's plane take off to Yemen. How was it that they were finally able to be together, and this happened? She pouted. She really hadn't stopped thinking about Chandler since the last time they'd seen each other. She knew she'd picked the wrong man, especially since she was officially divorced. She sighed. It was too late now, and she didn't even know when Chandler would be back. He had been very vague about that. She finally left the airport and headed back to her car. When he did come back, she'd be ready to finally settle down.</p><p>
              <strong>Joshua </strong>
            </p><p>Where had it gone wrong? Joshua pondered this as he rode the cab back to his place. He had just seen Rachel in a wedding dress, and that had really finished it for him. He thought she was more easy going than that. He had no idea she was in a mad rush to get married, especially after he'd explained to her about his ex. He wasn't even officially divorced yet! What was she thinking? He felt a little sad that their relationship was over so quickly. He did really like her, but he wasn't ready for marriage again so soon. He didn't know how he felt about marriage at all period right now. He just wanted to date and have some fun. He thought that's what Rachel wanted too.</p><p>"Aw man," he muttered, realizing that he'd have to stop going to his favorite clothing store now too because she worked there. The next place he went to he wasn't going to give any attention to the girls helping him. A good clothing store was hard to find.</p><p>
              <strong>Emily<br/>
</strong>
            </p><p>It all started on the day of their wedding when Ross said the wrong name. It felt like those movies where the person's speech goes into that deep voiced, under water, slow motion style speech to repeat what they had just said.</p><p>"I, Ross, take thee, Rachel."</p><p>"Raaaaaaccccchhhhheeeeeeeel."</p><p>Gasps from the crowd at this, and Emily stared at Ross like he was insane while he gaped back, just as shocked.</p><p>Her cheeks got very hot, and she was sure all eyes were on her to see what she'd do next. Well, she wouldn't stand for this kind of humiliation. She'd show them.</p><p>"Emily," Ross corrected. "I take Emily."</p><p>
              <em>Too late, buddy.</em>
            </p><p>When it was time, she rammed that ring on so hard he yelped. It pleased her that she could hurt him after he'd just severely hurt her. When he went to kiss her, she turned her head so he caught her cheek. He tried to hold her hand, and she yanked it away. She was kicking herself for not just stopping the minister and walking away from Ross forever. Now she was married to a man who was clearly still hung up on his ex-girlfriend. Emily caught sight of Rachel then, and her insides seethed. What was Rachel even doing there? She had declined the invitation! Rachel's eyes were shocked, embarrassed, and empathetic when Emily caught her gaze. Well, Emily did not want Rachel's empathy. She stormed down the aisle with Ross galloping behind her to catch up. Once they were out of sight from the guests, he started to chuckle.</p><p>"Well, that was kind of funny."</p><p>She glared at him and took a pot shot at his gut.</p><p>"Augh!" he cried as she bolted for the bathroom.</p><p>"Emily!" Ross shouted hoarsely. She bolted the door shut and leaned against it, gasping for air.</p><p>Rachel. I, take thee, Rachel. RACHEL?!</p><p>Emily sank to the floor and hugged her knees, crying. She had known better. She had known he still cared for her. Why hadn't she listened to her gut?!</p><p>"She won't come out," Ross's voice said a while later. Emily glanced up at the window and got an idea. She couldn't face anyone after that spectacle, so she was going to leave. It wasn't hard to get the window open and shimmy down to the ground. She'd hide for now until she knew what to do in regards to her marriage.</p><p>...</p><p>Emily paced her bedroom. Her parents had just finished telling her that Ross would be waiting for her at the airport to go on their honeymoon, that he loved her and Rachel was only a friend. She sank to her bed, feeling confused.</p><p>"I don't know what to do, Mum," she said. Her mother sat on the bed beside her.</p><p>"I honestly believe Ross just made that mistake because he just saw Rachel before your ceremony."</p><p>"I...I don't know. What if he does love her?"</p><p>"What if he doesn't?"</p><p>"Oh, stop that," Emily snapped. She stood to pace again.</p><p>"Slips of the tongue happen all the time, luv," her mother encouraged. "I think Ross really does love you. Why else would he sit outside the bathroom door all night to wait for you? Why would he insist to us that he's waiting for you to go on your honeymoon? That he only loves you?"</p><p>"I don't know," Emily repeated. She gripped her face with her hands.</p><p>"I know I'm just your Mum and you don't put much stock into what I say, but I really think you should give him one more try."</p><p>"And if he hurts me again?"</p><p>"Then give him hell," her mother grinned.</p><p>"All right," Emily finally caved.</p><p>"You're going to the airport then?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"I'll drive."</p><p>Emily felt herself holding her breath the entire ride there. Traffic got them a few times, making her late, but she made it to the terminal just as they announced the final boarding. She looked for Ross, feeling a slight spark of hope for their marriage, that she was making the right choice. Then she saw him. With Rachel. She felt her mouth drop. He caught sight of her, and his face said it all.</p><p>"No! Emily! No, no, no!" he shouted. She turned and fled. Twice in one day. That was enough for her.</p><p>"Drive, Mum!" she screamed, jumping into the backseat. Her mother floored it, making Emily jolt backwards. She couldn't see for crying.</p><p>"What happened?!" her mother shrieked.</p><p>"He was with <em>her</em>!"</p><p>"WHAT?!"</p><p>"She was going on <em>my</em> honeymoon! With Ross! Oh, Mum, I'm such a fool," Emily cried.</p><p>"There, there, luv," her mother said, looking in the rearview mirror. "Let's get you home, and we'll look into an annulment or divorce or whatever they call it now."</p><p>Emily didn't respond. Her heart was too busy breaking into a million pieces.</p><p>...</p><p>Ross had been persistent. Eventually, Emily agreed to try to make their relationship work. Her paranoia about Rachel made her a little crazy, though, and she put some demands on Ross. If this was going to work, he had to cut Rachel from his life forever. It didn't seem so unrealistic to her. Who hung out with their ex girlfriend all the time anyway? It was cause for trouble, for old feelings to resurface. Emily didn't want an affair between Ross and Rachel in their future because Ross realized he still loved Rachel after all. What if they had children? Their family would be broken, and she'd have to have Rachel be a step parent to her kids. No way in hell. That was not happening. Maybe Emily was being demanding and unfair, but she was just trying to protect her future. Ross showed resistance in the end, stating he couldn't give up Rachel, and when he asked the question of whether or not she could trust him, Emily had to finally admit that she didn't. How could she? He'd said Rachel's name at their wedding, almost gone on their honeymoon with Rachel, and still hung out with her every single day when he knew it was a thorn in Emily's side. Rachel was the wedge between them. She was the wedge between any relationship Ross would ever have really. Emily had figured this out, but she didn't think Ross had yet.</p><p>"Goodbye, Ross," she said quietly, hanging up. She stared at the receiver in her hand. She began to tremble, realizing that it was finally over. She'd lost Ross. If there was no Rachel, they would be married and starting a life together. He was funny and sweet and endearing. Yes, he could be obnoxious and annoying sometimes, but you take the good with the bad when you loved someone. Emily had loved Ross, but his heart would never fully be hers. Crying, she buried her face into her arms.</p><p>...</p><p>A while later, Emily was getting married again. She was feeling jittery and unsure of everything. That, and she couldn't stop thinking about Ross. In a moment of weakness, she phoned him and left a message.</p><p>"I wonder if we gave up too fast," she said. "Are you thinking about me? I'm thinking about you. No, you're probably not thinking about me at all. Anyway, um, if you are, call me tonight."</p><p>She hung up, feeling so stupid. Of course he wasn't going to call, not after all her demands about Rachel. He'd never give her up. They'd be back at square one. She was sure Rachel would somehow convince him not to call her back because she always seemed to know everything Ross did or needed to decide about.</p><p>"I'm such a moron," Emily groaned, smacking her head.</p><p>"You all right, luv?" her mother asked, poking her head into her bedroom.</p><p>"Yes," Emily answered after a moment. "I'm just fine." Her mother smiled and left, and Emily stood there knowing she wouldn't hear from Ross, and she was all right with that. Her future husband loved her very much, and she loved him too. She knew they would have a great future together. She thought of Ross one last time, and then she put him in the closet of her mind for safekeeping. He'd be a fond memory to think of every so often, but they could never have a future together. It was time to move on.</p><p>
              <strong>Larry<br/>
</strong>
            </p><p>Phoebe had been the quirkiest woman he'd ever met, and Larry had really enjoyed dating her. The only reason it hadn't lasted was because he couldn't keep his health inspector badge sheathed whenever they were in a restaurant. He had tried so hard, and Phoebe had taken him to some different vendors around the city who were majorly violating health codes so he could flex his power, but he was true to his job and couldn't contain himself anymore when they went out to fancier places. It had been a difficult parting, but Phoebe had agreed that she couldn't stay with someone who shut down all her favorite places to eat.</p><p>"The badge or the woman, and you picked the damn badge?!" his friend, Bob, said. He was outraged.</p><p>"I know," Larry sighed.</p><p>"Dude, how many opportunities for a hot woman come along for you?"</p><p>"Just that one," Larry answered miserably.</p><p>"You're an idiot," Bob snorted. He downed his beer. They were at Bob's place, and Bob's wife was currently putting their kids to bed.</p><p>"I think it's a sickness," Larry corrected.</p><p>"What? Your job?"</p><p>"Yea. I can't help it. I can't stop myself when I see a violation. Do you suppose they have a Health Inspector Anonymous group?" Larry asked hopefully.</p><p>"I don't think so, buddy," Bob said sadly. Larry sighed again and stared at his beer. He was married to his job. It was the only lady he'd ever have. This really depressed him. He hoped that one day perhaps he could find another love, but it seemed doubtful. He'd just have to remember Phoebe and hold on to her memories to get him through life. Oh, and Bob. Bob would help him get through.</p><p>"Hey," Larry said, pointing at the cupboard. "Do you see all that stuff on there? That's a code-"</p><p>"Oh, shut up," Bob cut him off.</p><p>
              <strong>Danny<br/>
</strong>
            </p><p>He hadn't missed the repulsion on Rachel's face when she backed out of his apartment after hearing his sister call out from the bathroom. He shut the door behind her and went to the bathroom where Krista was standing.</p><p>"What the hell, man?" she asked. "You asked me to get the perfect bath ready for you to help de-stress and then you let it get cold? Why do I do anything for you?"</p><p>"I'm sorry," he sighed.</p><p>"What happened?" she asked, sensing he was upset.</p><p>"I think things are over with Rachel."</p><p>"What? Why?!"</p><p>"I think she thought you and I were about to have a bath together," Danny pointed out.</p><p>"Oh my God," Krista laughed. Then she really started to laugh.</p><p>"I know, right?" he asked, starting to laugh with her.</p><p>"That is just sick," Krista gasped, tears rolling down her face. "I mean, yea, I can get a little too close with you, but having a bath together?! Ewww!"</p><p>"Should I explain it to Rachel?"</p><p>"What for? She'd just think you're lying. Honestly, Danny, I thought she was a little snobby for you. You need a girl who's a bit more down to earth, and one who doesn't assume we participate in incest," Krista snorted.</p><p>"You're right," Danny agreed.</p><p>"You want me to start this bath over? I think you need it after getting dumped," Krista said sympathetically.</p><p>"Sure," he replied. He went out to get a beer while his sister prepped his bath for him. She just knew how to get it right with the bath salts and stuff. He wasn't girly enough to figure that out, and he was embarrassed to admit that he liked a good bath with all that stuff.</p><p>"All set," she said, coming out to the living room. "Enjoy."</p><p>"Thanks, sis," he smiled, going in alone and locking the door behind him. Once he was in his bath, he felt his stress just drain away. Yes, his sister had done it again.</p><p>
              <strong>Elizabeth Hornswaggle </strong>
            </p><p>Seeing Ross standing in her living room holding his leather pants in his arms and God knew what all over his legs made her wonder just who she had invited into her apartment after all.</p><p>"Oh my God," she said.</p><p>"I had a problem," he replied.</p><p>"Wh-what problem?" she asked, stammering. Ross sighed heavily and looked at the floor.</p><p>"I was trying to follow my new resolution I gave myself for New Year's. Every day I wanted to do something I hadn't ever done before."</p><p>"I think you can use this for today," Elizabeth said, trying not to laugh. "I think you should go."</p><p>"Yea, okay," Ross said, nodding. Once he was gone, she burst out laughing. Who the hell wore leather pants anyway?! She couldn't keep this one to herself, so she called her sister.</p><p>"He what?!" her sister shrieked, laughing.</p><p>"He tried to get his pants back on with stuff from my bathroom," Elizabeth repeated, snorting so hard with laughter she could barely breathe.</p><p>"What a freak!" her sister crowed.</p><p>"I feel a little bad for him, but at the same time, who wears leather pants on a first date?!"</p><p>After a little more mocking, Elizabeth hung up the phone and gave one last chuckle before continuing her movie. She wondered how Ross made out going home in his knickers, but she soon stopped thinking about him. He was just another blip on her dating radar. Someone else would come along, and hopefully things would go much better than tonight did.</p><p>
              <strong>Janice </strong>
            </p><p>"Two outta three, eh Joey?" she said, smirking. Joey looked as though he was going to have a stroke, which made her laugh as she exited the cafe. She started to laugh a little at herself for the fact that she had been with Ross and thought that would even work. Ross! The man just wouldn't stop whining about every little damn thing! She had a small idea as to why things didn't work between him and Rachel aside from the cheating (yes, she had heard all about that story). He just had no positive outlook on anything. It was depressing. He wasn't Chandler either, which Janice knew would have been a big negative factor in their relationship, but Chandler was in Yemen, and she didn't know if he'd ever come back. Being with Ross had made her feel a little closer to Chandler in a very weird way. She shuddered suddenly. What was wrong with her? Maybe she was obsessing too much about Chandler. Perhaps it was time to move on.</p><p>
              <strong>Katie </strong>
            </p><p>She stormed out of Central Perk fuming. How dare Joey's friend kick her like that?! And how dare he not intervene?! She blindly got into a cab and went to where her brother, Harry, was working.</p><p>"Hey, Katie Girl," he said, seeing her. "What's wrong?"</p><p>"I just got dumped," she cried.</p><p>"Aw, really?" he said, surprised. "I'm sorry."</p><p>"He's a jerk. He let his friend kick me!"</p><p>"Did you throw the first punch?" he asked.</p><p>"N-no."</p><p>"Katie, you don't realize your own strength," Harry tutted.</p><p>"I didn't punch her!" Katie exclaimed. "I just did this." She demonstrated for him.</p><p>"That's a little hard, Katie Girl," Harry laughed, rubbing his arm. "I think you should go back to anger management. I don't think the lessons stuck."</p><p>"My anger is under control," Katie muttered.</p><p>"Not if you're getting in altercations with people," Harry pointed out.</p><p>"It wasn't an altercation! I was being playful," Katie pouted. Harry crossed his arms, looking at her with a brow raised.</p><p>"You promised Mom," he said. "We don't want another incident with a cop, do we? I don't think Gary quite forgave you for punching his face in group."</p><p>"Ugh, fine! I'll go back to anger management," she groaned. "And Gary is one to talk. He's there cos he uses his gun when he isn't supposed to. I can't help it he didn't see it coming."</p><p>"And start using your punching bag again," he suggested. "And try not to punch anymore people."</p><p>"Okay!" Katie cried, annoyed. Her brother was such a know-it-all.</p><p>
              <strong>Gary </strong>
            </p><p>He knew he shouldn't have shot the damn bird. It was too soon in their relationship. It also meant a setback in his anger management. Yes, he had done well to stop expressing it in unhealthy ways, but every now and then it came out.</p><p>"You shot a bird?" the instructor asked, stunned. Everyone was staring at him.</p><p>"It wouldn't stop singing," he tried.</p><p>"Oh my God, man," Katie smirked. Gary shot her a look. She annoyed him the most. He still had some breathing issues from her punch weeks earlier.</p><p>"Gary, you just got your gun privileges back at work. Why would you do that? You know I have to write you up," the instructor said. "You'll have to undergo some counselling again."</p><p>"Aw come on," Gary whined. "It was just a bird! People go hunting all the time!"</p><p>"Not from their bedroom window!" the instructor exclaimed.</p><p>"You haven't met my family then," Gary muttered.</p><p>"Okay, look, what's done is done, but you have to keep working on this."</p><p>"I know. I'm really upset that I lost Phoebe, though. She was the best thing that ever happened to me," Gary lamented.</p><p>"Well, you need to keep this in mind the next time you lose your cool," the instructor said. "Anger hurts people."</p><p>"I wasn't really angry, though, just annoyed," Gary corrected.</p><p>"It's all in the same ball park, Gary."</p><p>"Can we stop talking about me now? Katie, punched anyone lately?" Gary asked. Katie gave him the finger in return.</p><p>"Stop it, you two," the instructor ordered.</p><p>"I have your picture on my punching bag," Katie taunted Gary.</p><p>"Oh you wish."</p><p>"I don't have to wish. It's there," she said.</p><p>"That's sick," Gary snarled.</p><p>"You're sick!" she cried.</p><p>"You're a bitch!" Gary countered.</p><p>"Stop!" the instructor shouted, standing up now. "Get out."</p><p>"What?" Gary asked.<br/>
"Get out. Right now."</p><p>"But...you can't kick me out of group..." Gary started.</p><p>"For tonight I can. Come back next time with a better attitude."</p><p>"Ha ha," Katie smirked.</p><p>"You too," the instructor said, pointing at her.</p><p>"What?!"</p><p>"Ha hahaha ha," Gary taunted, grabbing his coat and leaving. Katie stalked out behind him.</p><p>"You suck," she said.</p><p>"You suck even more," he shot back.</p><p>"See you next week?" she asked, opening her car door.</p><p>"Yup," he nodded. He got into his cruiser and started the engine. Katie annoyed the shit out of him, but she also understood him because she had the same issues he did with anger. He missed Phoebe. He made a promise to himself to try harder and maybe he'd get another chance with someone in the future again.</p><p>
              <strong>Hillary </strong>
            </p><p>The date with Ross had been going so well. She had found him charming and funny, and he was <em>such</em> a good listener. When she had turned down the lights and saw his teeth glowing like they were radioactive, she freaked out. Who did that to their teeth?!</p><p>"What is wrong with you?" she cried.</p><p>"Me? Who has a black light in 1999?!" Ross exclaimed. She stared at him, not that he was hard to miss. His teeth were baring at her now. If she wasn't so offended, she'd laugh.</p><p>"It's cool!" she defended herself, crossing her arms.</p><p>"Cool? It's not cool," Ross said, getting up. All Hillary could see was his teeth bouncing across the room in the dark. The urge to laugh was powerful, but she kept it down. This was like some bizarre sitcom episode.</p><p>"Be careful outside. If you smile, the bugs might wanna fly in like they do to a bug zapper," Hillary commented. She couldn't help it.</p><p>"Oh ha ha ha," Ross laughed sarcastically. His teeth flashed when his lips flapped. When he left, she finally burst out into laughter. It really was too bad it ended so terribly. She would have liked to been able to tease him about this moment years down the line. Finding a good guy was so hard lately. If they did whiten their teeth for a date, why was that so alarming? She poured herself more wine and fought the urge to chase after him and apologize. Some things were best left alone.</p><p>
              <strong>Janine </strong>
            </p><p>The whole thing with Joey had been very sweet in the beginning. His attempts at flirting were so off the mark, but they had been cute. She admired his physique quite a lot once she started noticing it. He was also an amazing kisser. The only bad thing about him was his friends. She tolerated Ross. Rachel got on her nerves, and Phoebe was so out there that Janine rarely took her seriously. Monica was so freaking loud, and Chandler was so damn dull. Honestly, she couldn't understand why Joey was even friends with them. She had made an effort twice, but it just wasn't going to work. Then, after her attempt at apologizing and making up, Monica chased her down the stairs. The woman nearly caught up to her at the bottom, but thankfully she tripped on the bag of garbage she was carrying. This gave Janine the chance to escape, and she caught a cab to go to her friend's place to wait until Monica wasn't home. She'd get her things then.</p><p>...</p><p>"Hello?" Janine said, opening the apartment door. Joey was sitting in his chair.</p><p>"Hey," he replied.</p><p>"I'm just here to get my things," she told him.</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>She packed quickly. She didn't want to risk Monica seeing her there. She didn't think she'd get lucky twice. She hated to admit that the woman now scared her.</p><p>"Got everything?" Joey asked when she came out with her bags.</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Sorry it didn't work out," he said sadly. She looked at him and felt sorry too. Without his friends, they could have made it. She thought so anyway.</p><p>"Take care," she nodded, picking up her bags and going to the door.</p><p>"Aw, honey, you really could have caught her," Chandler was saying. Janine froze at the door.</p><p>"I was <em>this</em> close!" Monica shouted. Janine felt the words ring in her ears. Honestly, did Monica not hear herself?!</p><p>"Next time," Chandler reassured her. Janine missed what Monica said, which was rare, as they went inside their apartment. She took this chance to bolt. She didn't even look back at Joey. She couldn't risk any distractions.</p><p>
              <strong>Jill </strong>
            </p><p>"We can't," Ross said after pushing her away. Jill stared at him. What the actual hell?!</p><p>"Excuse me?" she asked.</p><p>"This isn't right," Ross said, moving away from her.</p><p>"How is it not right?" Jill demanded, moving for him again. Ross held up his hands as a shield as she pawed at him.</p><p>"Jill!" he shouted. "Stop it!"</p><p>"But whyyyy?" she asked, pouting.</p><p>"Because! That...that's it," Ross finished. He couldn't tell her the real reason why. Jill stared at him before reaching for his projector and throwing it against the wall, smashing it.</p><p>"You SUCK!" she shrieked. Ross quickly grabbed some other obviously valuable items to save them, so she stormed to the door and yanked it open.</p><p>"Jill," Ross started.</p><p>"Nuh uh! You don't get to talk to me anymore," Jill said, slamming the door behind her. She quickly got ready to leave the city. She couldn't stand being around her sister anymore. Rachel did nothing but sabotage her every move. She couldn't deal with it. She found them all at their stupid coffee shop and declared her departure. Neither of them cared, which she chose to ignore. They were the ones missing out. Now, it was time to go make amends with Daddy. She had her eye on a really expensive necklace.</p><p>
              <strong>Paul </strong>
            </p><p>He was sitting in his living room not sure how to feel. Rachel had asked him to share, and he had. Then she said it was too much sharing, and she dumped him. His mind was boggled. What did women want?! He started to shake with sobs again, thinking about the Chicken Boy thing again. God that one was hard to get over.</p><p>"Dad?" Elizabeth asked, coming into the house. He quickly swiped at his eyes, but he knew she'd figure it out.</p><p>"Hey, baby," he said, smiling at her. It was quite wobbly.</p><p>"What happened?" she asked, concerned.</p><p>"Rachel and I, uh, broke up," Paul answered. She sat down beside him and put her arm around him.</p><p>"I'm so sorry," she said, resting her head on his shoulder. "I know you really liked her."</p><p>"I did, but if she can't take the whole Paul Package, then it's no deal," he sighed.</p><p>"You deserve someone much better," Elizabeth assured him.</p><p>"And I'm not going to break my 'no sharing' rule ever again," Paul muttered.</p><p>"What's that?"</p><p>"Nothing. How are you? How's school?" He didn't ask about Ross. He hated that guy.</p><p>"It's great."</p><p>"Good. Why don't you go study?"</p><p>"Are you sure you'll be all right?" she asked, worried. He scoffed.</p><p>"Oh, I'll be just fine."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>He watched her go up to her room, and he cracked his neck. It was time to return to Macho Paul Mode. There was a reason he didn't share his emotions with women. It always ended up like this.</p><p>
              <strong>Elizabeth </strong>
            </p><p>"I just...I just don't see a future with us," Ross was saying. Elizabeth was standing there listening, but her brain was starting to buzz. No future? What? Was he serious?</p><p>"I really do like you, but I just don't want to waste our time if it's not going anywhere," Ross finished. He shifted on his feet, looking at her.</p><p>"I see," she responded, knowing he was looking for one. "I guess you're right. I wasn't thinking that far ahead, but you make sense."</p><p>"I'm sorry."</p><p>"No, it's okay. It has been wonderful. I'll miss you," Elizabeth said.</p><p>"I'll miss you too," Ross responded. He looked relieved for some reason. Did he think she was going to freak out?</p><p>"Well, I guess this is it," she said.</p><p>"Yea. Take care," he nodded. When he was gone, she immediately called her father.</p><p>"Daddy?" she said.</p><p>"What's the matter, baby?"</p><p>"Ross dumped me."</p><p>"What?!"</p><p>"He said we have no future."</p><p>"Aww, honey. Wait, you still got one of those balloons?" Paul asked. He had heard about her epic fight earlier.</p><p>"Yea."</p><p>"Nail him with it. After all that and he dumps you? That's bullshit. You go get him sweetheart!"</p><p>"Yea!" Elizabeth shouted. She raced to find one of the leftover balloons and grabbed it. Then she yanked open the window. She caught sight of Ross on the street.</p><p>"Ross! Wait!" she called, making him turn around.</p><p>"Elizabeth!" he cried. "Thank God! I was just thinking about..."</p><p>She didn't let him finish.</p><p>"You suck!" she shouted.</p><p>"What?!" he yelled. That wasn't the first time he'd heard that.</p><p>"Nail him!" Paul shouted from the phone she had set down on the windowsill. She threw one as hard as she could, hitting him on the head. Her roommate, Zoe, having figured out what she was doing, passed her another one while giggling. Elizabeth threw it too. Then she threw some more that Zoe had found.</p><p>"Okay! Break up is still on!" Ross shouted before running for cover. Elizabeth high fived Zoe and picked up the phone.</p><p>"Did you get him good?" Paul asked.</p><p>"I sure did," she answered. "I got one in there from you for Rachel too."</p><p>"Aww, you're the best," Paul said. "I love you."</p><p>"Love you too."</p><p>"Come home for dinner. We have to celebrate."</p><p>"Celebrate what?"</p><p>"That we ditched the losers!" Paul cried. Elizabeth laughed.</p><p>"You're on. See you in a few hours."</p><p>She hung up and went back to her room, smiling. So what if she and Ross didn't have a future together? He was a wiener anyway, and a suck. Who doesn't like a water balloon fight?!</p><p>
              <strong>Richard </strong>
            </p><p>He had had the perfect opportunity. Chandler had royally screwed up his chance at being with Monica, and she had come to him after he confessed that he still loved her. Richard had felt a little smug. She needed to think, and he wanted her to pick him. Then Chandler showed up at his door acting all brave when Richard knew he was in fact terrified, and Richard started to remember that he wasn't a bad guy. He couldn't destroy a relationship just because Chandler was an idiot. Chandler had to do that on his own. Then Richard wouldn't look like the bad guy. He'd just be the sympathetic ex who looked after her when she lost her relationship. Things could go from there. He'd marry her and make Chandler look like a fool. Ah, there went his bad guy brain again. It really did get out of hand sometimes.</p><p>
              <em>You had your chance, and you blew it.</em>
            </p><p>Yes, he had. Chandler's words echoed in his ears. It was very true. He wasn't sure why he had dipped his toe back into that pond again. He guessed it was just his love for her resurfacing and overwhelming him after seeing her at the restaurant. He never did truly get over Monica. He had told her as much.</p><p>"When you get her, don't let her go. Trust me," he had advised.</p><p>"You know, you are the good guy," Chandler had responded.</p><p>"I know, and I hate that!" Richard had sighed. Then Chandler had run off, leaving the ring. Richard held it up in the air, knowing he'd come running back for it, which he did. Then he sat in his living room feeling broken...again. How many times was he going to be devastated by losing this woman? Enough was enough. He couldn't do this again, and he couldn't stand thinking about her with someone else. Perhaps it was time to think about moving.</p><p>
              <strong>Kyle &amp; Whitney</strong>
            </p><p>They walked hand in hand out of Central Perk. They had just left Ross and Phoebe, who were both acting really weird.</p><p>"I'm so glad we agreed to try this again," Kyle smiled, kissing Whitney's hand. She smiled back.</p><p>"Yes. I really am going to work on some of those things we talked about," she promised.</p><p>"You know, Phoebe was a little too eccentric for me," Kyle said.</p><p>"I really don't want to talk about your tryst," Whitney cut him off. Kyle stopped walking.</p><p>"I'm sorry. I wasn't the only one who had a 'tryst' as you call it," he said.</p><p>"Kyle, come on. Let's just forget about Ross and Phoebe."</p><p>"You know, Phoebe taught me some interesting things," Kyle said, waggling his brow. Whitney surveyed him for a moment, wondering if she should start a fight or just go with it. If she started a fight, she was just proving to him his theory that she was mean. If she went with it, she could show that she was trying. As hard as it was to let it go, she decided to.</p><p>"Really?" she asked. He took her hand again and ran a finger up her arm.</p><p>"Yea. I can show you," he winked.</p><p>"All right," she smiled. "I really missed you in that department. Ross needs a lot of encouragement."</p><p>"I can tell."</p><p>"I mean a LOT of encouragement. It got to the point where I almost told him to go away and let me do it myself," she giggled.</p><p>"Oohh ouch," Kyle snorted.</p><p>They both laughed even harder together as they hurried back to his place. Ross and Phoebe were very far from their minds now.</p><p>
              <strong>Erin</strong>
            </p><p>It wasn't that there was something wrong with Joey per say. She just didn't want to be in a committed relationship. All she had been looking for was a fling, and she had been so sure that Joey was the right guy for that. When he started getting all chatty about the future, she got freaked out. She wasn't the type to settle down. She didn't want the marriage with the house and kids. It wasn't her thing. Maybe it was for other girls, but not her. She hoped Rachel and Phoebe let him down easy. She'd have done it herself, but why bother when some other sucker can do it for you?</p><p>"Hey, girlfriends," she grinned as she joined the three women at the bar they'd agreed to meet at.</p><p>"Hey," they replied. Erin smiled at them. They were great girls. Tiffany was in journalism, Sandra was a nurse, and Janine was a dancer.</p><p>"So? Did you break up with him?" Sandra asked, leaning in. They all knew Erin was seeing someone.</p><p>"I did," she nodded. "Well, I got his friends to do it for me."</p><p>"Oh, so cold!" Tiffany exclaimed. These women had been burned by men in their lifetime, so whenever one of them got the chance to burn a guy, they celebrated.</p><p>"Yea," Erin shrugged.</p><p>"Was he cute? Should I have a go?" Janine asked, eyes twinkling.</p><p>"He was definitely nice to look at," Erin answered. "And not bad in the bedroom."</p><p>"Maybe I'll date him and dump him too," Janine laughed.</p><p>"Sure. His name is Joey."</p><p>"Wait," Sandra interrupted. "Janine, didn't you live with a guy named Joey?"</p><p>"Oh my God," Erin said, covering her mouth. "Joey Tribbiani?!"</p><p>"You slept with Joey?!" Janine cried. She felt outraged and didn't know why.</p><p>"Uh, yea," Erin nodded.</p><p>"Wow," Tiffany laughed. "You two were with the same guy. Except Erin got to dump him."</p><p>"You know what? Shut up," Janine growled. She crossed her arms. Of all the guys Erin had to go out with it had to be Joey.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Erin winced at her.</p><p>"It's fine. How could you have known?"</p><p>"You just...you never said his name when you talked about him," Erin pointed out. "I wouldn't have if you did."</p><p>"It's okay. Can we drop this now?" Janine asked.</p><p>"Sure," Erin nodded. "So, Tif, got any good news for us?"</p><p>They started chatting about work and things, but Erin noticed that Janine was looking bothered still and trying to hide it. Erin would make it up to her later.</p><p>
              <strong>David </strong>
            </p><p>Getting into the cab was the hardest thing he'd ever done in his life. No, it was the second hardest thing. The first time he left Phoebe was the first hardest thing he'd ever done. Why he was doing it again, he couldn't understand. Why did he go back? Why didn't he just quit? Wasn't true love worth fighting for? He leaned forward to stop the cab when he paused. If he stayed, what would happen? They'd date, sure, but what if it didn't work out? What if she decided she didn't want to be with him? He'd have lost her and his job. His job was a guarantee. He looked back to see Joey hugging her as she cried, and he felt his heart break. What if he decided he couldn't be with her? What if they dated for a while and he learned things about her that he didn't like? This whole thing made his stomach hurt. He felt so torn. In the end, work won. It always won. It was stable, and it would never change. He had this new memory of Phoebe, and he would hold onto it forever. That way, she would stay perfect. There were no flaws. If he ever saw her again and he was finished in Minsk, then he'd see what happened. For now, she was the woman he loved who would remain simply wonderful in his mind.</p><p>
              <strong>Tag</strong>
            </p><p>Who knew that someone's birthday would make them go crazy? Tag was still feeling shocked as he made his way down to the coffee shop. Rachel had broken up with him because she turned thirty. How ridiculous was that?! On the other hand, he did admit that he wasn't ready to think about marriage and kids. Those thoughts terrified him. He still just wanted to have fun. He wished that Rachel just wanted to have fun with him still. He answered his ringing phone.</p><p>"Hey," he said, seeing it was his sister. She was his best friend. He even had a photo of her on his desk from when she was younger wearing braces. It had made Rachel jealous until she found out it was his sister. He had been relieved she hadn't asked why he had an older photo of her in the first place. The reason was, his sister had lost a bet with him, and he won the opportunity to show off her nerdiness for everyone to see.</p><p>"Hey, you. How's it going?" she asked. Tag loved his sister. They were both still single, and she used him as a wingman sometimes.</p><p>"It sucks. I just got dumped," he answered.</p><p>"No way!" she cried. "Aw, I'm so sorry."</p><p>"She wasn't into having fun," Tag sighed.</p><p>"Don't you hate that?"</p><p>"I do."</p><p>"Okay, so get your scrawny butt over here, and we are gonna have some fun!" she exclaimed. "I have some girls who would date you in a second. Actually, I have the perfect girl for you. Erin. She just wants to have fun too."</p><p>"All right, but she better not be someone who is gonna cry when it's over," Tag warned.</p><p>"It will most likely be you crying, but that is not important," his sister said impatiently. "You know, I wonder if Rachel will get with Joey."</p><p>"Why do you say that?" Tag asked. "And how do you know Joey?"</p><p>"Everyone knows Joey," she dismissed, "and I heard he wants to commit. Well, both he and Rachel want serious relationships right? She's his roommate now. I bet you anything that steams up eventually."</p><p>"You're on. Ten bucks."</p><p>"Ten?! More like a hundred, baby."</p><p>"Fine, but can you spot me a fifty?" Tag asked. She laughed.</p><p>"Come on, you. Meet you in ten minutes."</p><p>"All right. Thanks Sandra," Tag smiled. He hung up and laughed to himself. His sister was another one who wasn't looking for a serious relationship. She was like a guy almost, breaking men's hearts. He pitied the person who ever got dumped by her.</p><p>
              <strong>Cecilia </strong>
            </p><p>Joey had been a different sort of guy she had been with. He was sweet but also a bit stupid. Cecilia normally didn't date guys like that, but somehow it worked with Joey. She felt really bad for taking the other job and leaving him behind. She hated how sad he looked. It had been fun spending time with him and teaching him about her character even though he butchered it most times. In the end, he had pulled it off, which amazed her. Maybe she wasn't giving him enough credit after all. After seeing him come alive from his coma and into her character, she met with him and mentioned he could come to Mexico to see her. She hoped he would. Then, after a wonderful, final make out session, she left. She ran into Monica on the way out, though.</p><p>"Oh! Fancy meeting you here," Monica said.</p><p>"No," Cecilia said, knowing what she wanted.</p><p>"Please! Just once. Once!"</p><p>"I can't," Cecilia said, exasperated. Didn't the girl understand? Her lawyer said no.</p><p>"Just one good one right here," Monica said, showing her cheek. "I won't tell anyone it was you!" Cecilia couldn't believe how much this woman wanted to be slapped. She looked around, seeing no one. What really was the harm? She was asking for it. Monica was consenting to it.</p><p>"All right. Once," she said. Monica braced herself, barely containing her excitement. She pulled back and swung, hard. Monica's head snapped back, and her eyes widened.</p><p>"Oh," she whimpered, clutching her face.</p><p>"Are you happy now?" Cecilia asked. Monica only nodded.</p><p>"Hey, what is going on out here?" a security guard asked, coming into view.</p><p>"Goodbye," Cecilia said, hurrying away.</p><p>"I just got slapped by the best actress in the world!" Monica shouted happily in the distance. True to her word, she didn't say Cecilia's name. Cecilia smirked. She still had it.</p><p>
              <strong>Kristen </strong>
            </p><p>Ross and Joey hurling blatantly obvious history about each other was enough to make her get up and walk away. The thing was, she didn't think they even noticed. They were too busy hating on each other. She felt embarrassed for them. She also felt a little flattered that both of them wanted to date her that much. It was always hard moving to a new place and not knowing anyone. If they wanted to date her, then it meant other guys would want to date her too. This was good news. She went back to her new apartment and opened a bottle of wine. She relaxed on the couch, looking at all her boxes she still had to unpack. It was too bad Joey and Ross were fighting over her. They could have helped her unpack too. She picked up the phone to call her mom.</p><p>"Hey, Mom," she said. "You'll never guess what happened to me as soon as I got here..."</p><p>
              <strong>Melissa </strong>
            </p><p>Oh it was so embarrassing. She buried her face in her hands as the cab pulled away. Rachel didn't love her. She had mistook her constant prodding about the past for something else. She could never face Rachel again. And her boyfriend...oh, man. What was she going to do? She felt so confused. Did this make her a lesbian? Did she just learn something about herself? The whole dinner she had spent obsessing about everything Rachel did or said. She hadn't thought about her boyfriend at all. She swallowed hard. Perhaps she should contact a professional when she got home to talk about this. Maybe she was a lesbian after all. Or maybe she was bisexual? It was all so confusing. She hugged herself tightly. Once she talked to someone, she'd figure it out. Things would be okay. She just wished she could stop thinking about Rachel.</p><p>
              <strong>Kash </strong>
            </p><p>Kash had no idea what to think when Rachel suddenly blurted out she was pregnant. He felt like his head was underwater, and even though he knew the baby wasn't his, it still felt like that moment where the newfound father stares in disbelief at his suddenly pregnant girlfriend and wonders how it all could have happened when they were being so careful.</p><p>"Oh," he said.</p><p>"I'm sorry," she said quickly.</p><p>"So...so...you're, y-you're having a baby?"</p><p>"Uh huh."</p><p>"Wow. So...so...wow. I hear those hemorrhoids are a bitch," Kash managed to say. Hemorrhoids? What was the matter with him? Where did that come from? Embarrassed now, he reached for his phone.</p><p>"Sorry. I have to get this," he said.</p><p>"It's not ringing," Rachel started, but he turned away. He made a show of being shocked about something. He was an actor after all.</p><p>"I have to go," he said. "I'm sorry."</p><p>"That's okay," she said resolutely. He knew she knew he was ditching her. Thank goodness they weren't trapped on the ferry yet. That would be so much worse.</p><p>"I'll call ya," Kash promised, patting her shoulder. He had no intentions of calling her, which he was pretty sure she knew. He hurried away then, leaving her behind. It was a cowardly thing to do for sure, but Kash didn't want to get involved with someone who was having a baby. It wasn't his thing to raise someone else's child. That and he was still into looks. Now, Rachel was definitely a hot chick, but the baby bump would ruin that in no time. Call him shallow, which many had in the past, but Kash just wasn't interested. He wondered if Joey was the father since they were roommates after all. Then again, why would Joey let them go on a date if it was his baby? Maybe he didn't know he was the father yet. Kash shook his head. He really needed to stop thinking that life was a soap opera.</p><p>
              <strong>Tim </strong>
            </p><p>He was both surprised and hurt when Phoebe practically fled the restaurant, confirming that she was officially dumping him. He wondered where it went wrong. What didn't she like about him anymore? He had thought the world of her.</p><p>"Well," Monica said. "I guess you can start your shift now."</p><p>"Should I go after her?" he asked.</p><p>"Oh no," Monica shook her head. "That would be the worst thing you could do right now."</p><p>"I guess I just had a different idea of what she was like," Tim sighed. Monica patted his shoulder sympathetically.</p><p>"Some horses have to stay wild," she said simply before going to her office. Tim went to put on his apron, wondering if Phoebe would change her mind. He had really cared about her. He still did. He hoped she got home safe. He resisted calling to check. Maybe not all women liked that. Tim only did it because his mother checked in on him a lot too. He thought it was a normal thing. He made a mental note to call his mother later and ask her.</p><p>
              <strong>Eric</strong>
            </p><p>"So?" Gary asked, sipping his coffee. "Did it go well?"</p><p>"It started well," Eric sighed, staring at his tea and feeling depressed. "But then it got weird. Ursula tricked me into thinking she was Phoebe, and I slept with her without knowing it was Ursula. I felt so bad."</p><p>"Dude, that's rough," Gary laughed. He had no idea Phoebe had a twin.</p><p>"Thanks for getting me her number, though," Eric said.</p><p>"You didn't tell her I gave it to you, did you?" Gary asked. He knew that wouldn't go over well since they used to date.</p><p>"No. I just said I had a cop friend who got it for me, which is true."</p><p>"I think you're better off," Gary said, pointing his donut at Eric. "Phoebe is a bit eccentric. I mean, have you ever seen her rap sheet? She's done some freaky stuff."</p><p>"I haven't. I'm not a cop," Eric replied.</p><p>"Right. Anyway, you'll get over her. It's probably for the best that you don't date your fiance's twin."</p><p>"I know you're right. I wish I had met Phoebe first," Eric sighed.</p><p>"Oh, I gotta go," Gary said, looking at his phone. "Katie gets mad when I'm late."</p><p>"I still can't believe you two got together," Eric shook his head, smiling.</p><p>"She sure can pack a punch," Gary said, rubbing his arm absently. "After all the anger management classes, we realized we had a lot more in common than we originally thought. I never saw it coming." He stood up, getting ready to leave.</p><p>"Thanks," Eric said.</p><p>"You're welcome. Pick someone a little less crazy next time," Gary winked, walking away. Eric sighed again. He cursed himself for getting into this mess. He couldn't stop thinking about Phoebe, but he knew he had to if he was going to move on.</p><p>
              <strong>Mona </strong>
            </p><p>It was one thing for Ross to be having a baby with his ex-wife and getting yelled at by said ex-wife's father. It was another thing for him to give her a key to his apartment and then change the locks right after while saying "I love you" for the first time right after. It was yet another thing for his to keep running for Rachel when any little thing happened with the baby, but the final straw was when Ross invited Rachel to live with him while Mona was away with her family. Enough was enough.</p><p>Now, it was a few weeks later, and she was on a date. Things were progressing very nicely, but then who should be lying on her floor trying to steal the shirt she'd lent her date but Ross himself. Things just kept getting better and better.</p><p>"What was that about?" her date asked when Ross skedaddled out of there when Mona saw him.</p><p>"Oh that. He...um," Mona paused. The guy was waiting for an answer, and she honestly didn't have one. "He...he's an ex."</p><p>"Really."</p><p>"Yea. I don't know why he was here. I'm so sorry."</p><p>"It's all good. Kinda wrecked the mood, though."</p><p>"Yea."</p><p>"I'll call you," he said, grabbing his wine stained shirt and putting it on along with his pants. Mona felt disappointed. She had a feeling it was going to be a really good time.</p><p>...</p><p>The next day, she went over to Ross's with the shirt. She had no idea why he would even want it as it was really girly looking, but whatever.</p><p>"I'm so sorry about yesterday," Ross said when he saw her.</p><p>"It's okay. I know why you were there. You still have feelings for me, and I will be honest and say I still have feelings for you, but with Rachel and the baby...it's just too complicated."</p><p>"You're right," Ross agreed, looking sad.</p><p>"Can I keep this? To remember you by?" she asked, holding up the shirt. The look in his eyes at that point was unreadable. He started to laugh, so she started to smile.</p><p>"No," he said, grabbing it from her. She stared.</p><p>"Are you serious?"</p><p>"Yes! I love this shirt. It's my favorite."</p><p>"Oh my...that's really why you were at my apartment wasn't it? You wanted your shirt back!" she cried, putting it together.</p><p>"Don't quit your day job," Ross said smartly.</p><p>"You! You...Ugh!" Mona exclaimed. She turned on her heel and stormed away. Ross was a jerk. Why did it take this long to see that? It also didn't take a genius to know that he still had feelings for Rachel. Mona had been ignoring that for a while, but it was there. Ross maybe just didn't see it yet. She went into a coffee shop, still fuming.</p><p>"Are you okay?" the girl at the counter asked.</p><p>"I just came from my ex's place, and all he cared about was a stupid shirt," Mona explained angrily. The girl gave her a sympathetic look.</p><p>"He sounds like a real winner."</p><p>"I deserve better than that, right?" Mona asked. "I mean, I put up with the pregnant ex-wife and all that, but he is really just insensitive."</p><p>"The pregnant what now?" the girl asked, incredulous. "Oh, honey. You're gonna need this too." She slid over a butter tart.</p><p>"You're right," Mona agreed, taking it. "I deserve a guy without current baggage."</p><p>"Yes, you do."</p><p>Mona thanked her and walked out, taking a bite of the tart. It was so freaking good. She stopped to savor it, and she smiled. Then she started to laugh. Ross was attached to a pink shirt. Wow. She picked a real good one there. She decided she was going to take some time for herself after all that. It was exactly what she needed.</p><p>
              <strong>Parker </strong>
            </p><p>He didn't understand. Phoebe had originally loved his zest for life. Now she was saying it was too much, that he was like Santa Claus on Prozac at Disneyland getting laid. Parker had to admit, that sounded epicly fantastic. He wondered if that had ever happened. He was sitting in his apartment and thinking. Was he too positive? No. There was no such thing. He pondered about this for a while. See, he grew up with the most negative mother in the world. Nothing was ever good or right or happy. It drove him insane. He had made a promise to himself to never be like her, so had he gone completely off the charts in the opposite direction? Now that he thought about it, all his other girlfriends had dumped him because of the same reason. He had never had a relationship last longer than a month.</p><p>"Interesting," he said, rubbing his chin with his hand. "This is the best thought process in the world. It's like an ice cream sundae on the beach."</p><p>Ah. He heard it. He made a decision then. He'd speak to someone about this problem.</p><p>...</p><p>"I'm sorry, what?" the therapist said, looking at him confused.</p><p>"I want you to help me be more negative," Parker repeated. "My God, this is the best first therapy session I've ever had! You're so understanding! You're magnificent!"</p><p>"I'm still stuck on your request. You want to be more negative. Why?" the therapist asked.</p><p>"Well, it's recently been brought to my attention that I am way too happy, like Santa on Prozac at Disneyland getting laid."</p><p>"I see," the therapist said. Then she laughed. Parker beamed at her.</p><p>"Your laugh is so tinkly! So fabulous!"</p><p>"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I shouldn't laugh. I have just never heard that statement before, and it really does suit you. In a good way, though. There is nothing wrong with being positive."</p><p>"I can't keep a girlfriend, though," Parker explained. "They don't like it."</p><p>"Well that's a first," she said, furrowing her brow. "Most women like a guy who's positive."</p><p>"I think I go a bit overboard, though. I just want to know how to stop."</p><p>"Give me some examples."</p><p>"Okay, well for starters, I comment on the day like, 'Oh this day! It's the greatest of all! I feel so alive! Lucky!'"</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"Or I comment on the beauty of the brake lights of the car in front of me if I'm stuck in a traffic jam," Parker finished.</p><p>"Have you ever been negative?" she asked.</p><p>"I had one episode where I freaked out on a guy for taking too long to bring me dinner. I went to anger management, and I started being positive about everything. That and my mother was always so down on life. I didn't want to be like her."</p><p>"You know, it's okay to express some anger or frustration at times."</p><p>"Maybe, but that's just not who I am."</p><p>"Well, then I think you're fine, Parker."</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>"I do. If anyone doesn't like it, they can deal with it."</p><p>"Wow! Such great news! The best news since sliced bread!"</p><p>"Maybe try to just tone it down a little. You know, just say 'That was great news,' and leave it at that," the therapist suggested.</p><p>"I can do that. Think before you speak. Yes, I will do that," Parker nodded vigorously. "Thanks!"</p><p>He left feeling very chipper.</p><p>
              <strong>Hayley </strong>
            </p><p>Her room mate started howling with laughter once Joey left. Hayley glared at her.</p><p>"What is so funny?!" she demanded.</p><p>"He thought you had forgotten you slept with him! That's hilarious!" she cackled. Hayley crossed her arms angrily.</p><p>"Well, it's a good thing this came up now or else I might have gotten serious with him."</p><p>"Oh, honey, no. Joey is not the serious relationship kind of guy."</p><p>"Well, now I'll never know."</p><p>"No, I'm telling you from experience. He's not."</p><p>"You know what, I'm done with this conversation," Hayley said, moving towards her bedroom.</p><p>"If it helps, he cried like a girl when the cactus poked his ass!" her room mate called after her. Hayley shut the door in response, but she couldn't help but burst into giggles about that. The visual got stuck in her head. That right there helped prove she probably would not have dated him for long. She did't want to be with someone who would cry from a cactus poke.</p><p>
              <strong>David Part 1</strong>
            </p><p>Seeing Mike was like someone had stabbed him in the gut. It was easy to pretend he didn't exist when he wasn't in the room. He loved Phoebe so much, and he knew it was unrealistic to think she'd be single when he got there. She was beautiful. Any guy was lucky to have her. He just wanted her more than them. He had to let her go, though. Mike seemed like a nice guy. She deserved that. He kicked himself for ever going to Minsk. He lost the best thing ever by choosing work.</p><p>"Someone got lucky," his cab driver smirked, seeing Phoebe's lipstick on his face.</p><p>"Oh, no," David said, wiping it off hastily. "It ended badly."</p><p>"I'm sorry."</p><p>"No. It's my fault. I went to Russia nine years ago and stupidly thought she'd still be waiting for me."</p><p>"Dude," the driver winced.</p><p>"I know."</p><p>"Where to?"</p><p>"Um, I don't really know. The nearest hotel I guess."</p><p>"Sure thing."</p><p>David looked out the window as they drove. New York just wasn't as sparkly without being with Phoebe.</p><p>
              <strong>Gavin </strong>
            </p><p>He felt disappointed that the timing with Rachel wasn't right. She was full of spunk and fiesty. She made him laugh, and she was smart. She was also very cute. All right, she was hot. He went home after seeing her and stared at his rodeo clown photo. He'd come a long way from there. He sighed. Things would be so awkward at work with Rachel now. He knew he couldn't stay there. He picked up the phone.</p><p>"Mr. Zelner?" he said. "I'm sorry. I have to resign."</p><p>He spent the next ten minutes convincing his boss that it was for the best, and by the time he hung up, he was exhausted. He couldn't stop thinking about Rachel, but he knew he had to. She was off limits. Maybe in a different life they could have had a relationship. For now, he had to start looking for a new job.</p><p>
              <strong>Mike </strong>
            </p><p>His heart was broken. Phoebe wanted marriage. He didn't. They wouldn't change their minds. Their relationship was over. He sat on his couch in his apartment not moving for about three days. He couldn't eat. He couldn't sleep. What had he done? But then he remembered why he couldn't get married again. Maybe Phoebe wouldn't be like that, but he couldn't risk it. He was too afraid. If they couldn't make it work by just living together, then it was better to not be together. He wondered if she would get back with David. No. He couldn't let his mind go there. He sat there miserably. His mind went there anyway.</p><p>...</p><p>When his friend got preoccupied, Mike went to Phoebe's. Yes, it was totally a bad idea, and yes, it would make getting over her that much harder, but he missed her like crazy. They slept together, and they ignored Monica on the other side of the wall listing all the reasons why this was so bad. If anything, it made them want to do it more.</p><p>"I wish," he started.</p><p>"No," Phoebe cut him off. "Don't. Let's just enjoy the moment."</p><p>"Okay," he agreed. She was right. Getting into it would only make it worse. When it was over and he was back at his apartment, he felt more empty than the last time he sat there. He was crazy to give her up, but he was sticking to his guns. He had to. It was impossible not to think about her, though. He wrote songs about it. He banged away on his piano for hours feeling mournful. This was his life now. He had to live with it.</p><p>
              <strong>David Part 2</strong>
            </p><p>He lost to Mike, again. Boy this was getting old. He stood in the airport in Barbados waiting to fly back to New York. From there, he'd probably move somewhere else because he couldn't stand the idea of living in the same city with Phoebe married to another man. He had packed his bag very quickly after she told him she couldn't marry him. He didn't want to see her with Mike (it was bad enough he witnessed her accept Mike's proposal). He just wanted to get out of there.</p><p>"How was your stay?" the lady at the desk asked when he approached.</p><p>"Terrible."</p><p>"Oh, I'm sorry."</p><p>"No, no. It's not the place. Barbados is wonderful. It was, uh, the woman I came with. She...she got engaged to someone else."</p><p>"Oh my God..."</p><p>"Yea."</p><p>"I'm so sorry."</p><p>"If she's happy, then I have to be happy. It's a kick in the nards when you're down for sure, but I'll recover," he smiled grimly.</p><p>"I hope you find someone who loves you back," she said sympathetically.</p><p>"Ah well, I don't know about that. Phoebe had my heart for a long time."</p><p>The lady didn't know what else to say, so David just carried on through and got on the plane. He half hoped he would hear Phoebe screaming his name for him to get off the plane, that she loved him after all, but perhaps that wasn't meant for him. It would happen for someone else probably. David leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. It was finally over. Nine years was a long time. He didn't think he'd ever get over Phoebe, but he would try. It would be a sad life otherwise.</p><p>
              <strong>Charlie </strong>
            </p><p>When she had broken up with Joey for Ross, she had felt really bad. When she broke up with Ross for her ex boyfriend, Benji, she felt worse. Well, the feeling didn't last long really. She maybe felt bad for half a day. It wasn't her fault that Benji wanted her back! It wasn't her fault that she still loved him! This whole thing had been such a whirlwind. Some might even call her a tramp, but who wanted to be with the wrong person? She'd rather be called names than be unhappy. Sure, Ross had suited her perfectly. Joey was a bit of a long shot, but the sex was amazing. Benji, though, he was just right. He was her man. She had no regrets. None at all.</p><p>"You okay?" Benji asked. They were at his place. She was in his bed.</p><p>"I'm fine," she smiled.</p><p>"Is it Ross?"</p><p>"No, no."</p><p>"Good. He's so weird," Benji laughed.</p><p>"Mmhmm," Charlie agreed. Ross did have some weird moments. She reflected back on the night he was "fine." He had clearly not been fine, which led her to believe Ross still loved Rachel anyway whether he knew it or not. They had a baby together for crying out loud! No, she was better with Benji. She loved this man. Ross would move on, she knew that. Yes, it had been good while it lasted, but Ross was not her soulmate. She hoped he would figure that out soon.</p><p>
              <strong>Sarah </strong>
            </p><p>Joey ate her dessert. He ate the whole thing. She couldn't believe it!</p><p>"I'm not even sorry," he said. There was chocolate all over his face. He looked like an honest to God toddler. She stared in disbelief.</p><p>"You ate it?!" she exclaimed.</p><p>"Oh yea," he said, rubbing his stomach.</p><p>"I'm out of here. Don't call me ever again," she ordered, grabbing her purse and coat.</p><p>"All right," he shrugged. "Hey, tell your friends that Joey doesn't share his food!"</p><p>Sarah ignored him. What a pig! She couldn't believe that Phoebe was friends with this guy! He was so immature. She hailed a cab and got in. She called her sister while they were driving.</p><p>"He what?" she exclaimed.</p><p>"I know!" Sarah said back. "He ate it!"</p><p>"Dude," the cab driver said, shaking his head. He was totally listening to the conversation.</p><p>"Excuse me. This is a private call," Sarah told him.</p><p>"Sure," he nodded.</p><p>"So, you just left him there?" her sister asked.</p><p>"Yup."</p><p>"Good for you! I hope you ate expensive food."</p><p>"It was enough."</p><p>"Look, I have this guy..."</p><p>"No! I love you, but no. No more blind dates. I'm done," Sarah cut her off. "I actually don't mind being single."</p><p>"Weirdo."</p><p>"Love you too," Sarah laughed, hanging up. She shook her head, thinking about Joey. She wondered what woman would ever end up with someone like him.</p><p>
              <strong>Janice </strong>
            </p><p>Chandler had feelings for her. She couldn't buy the house beside him because it would ruin both of their marriages. Oh, man. It was the right thing to do. Janice felt his lips on hers still after she left. Granted, he hadn't been quite as into it as before, but all the same. It was Chandler. She was happy, though, in her marriage. His bombshell of news just took her by surprise. Everyone had a moment of weakness, and not only that but she would never see him again. She justified it.</p><p>"You okay, honey?" her husband asked when she came home.</p><p>"Yea," she replied, bobbing her head up and down. "I think we should stay here in this house after all. Monica kind of intimidates me." It was a lie, but he would buy it. Her afraid of Monica. So laughable!</p><p>"Oh. Are you sure?"</p><p>"Yes," she nodded. It was for the best. She was all right. Chandler and her had a long history, but it was definitely in the past. There had been lots of ups and downs and some maybes, almosts, and definite nos, but they found their way and got married to their soulmates. Janice knew Chandler would always be in her heart, but that's all it would be. She was going to miss the gang for sure. After this, it didn't make sense to see them. They all had their own lives, and she had hers. It was truly the end. She felt a little sad, but she knew that all good things came to an end sometimes. It had been good while it lasted. She smiled. The future looked bright.</p><p>
              <strong>The End </strong>
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